Dear Agony;; Izzy

[HECTOR ALLEN WULFE]

So far my seventh year in Hogwarts has been my best year. I'm on the Quidditch team, I'm a Prefect, and I'm doing really well in all my classes. Too bad things inside me are getting worse. It's getting harder and harder to control the animal inside. I think it's because the pressure is building on me to decide what to do after school. I really enjoy teaching others. It makes me want to be a teacher after school. I'm not really sure if that's a good idea though, as I don't really know anyone who wants someone like me as a teacher.

There are days when I'm not sure if I can even leave my dorm. I can't exactly explain it, but it seems like sometimes I can't control myself and I don't know if that means I'm a nuisance to my school or not. I don't like feeling out of control. I don't like feeling like I could hurt those closest to me. I'm even beginning to fear for my younger sister. I don't know what to do anymore.

Sometimes I want to just go to sleep and never wake up. But I've got my family to take care of. After all, mother is dead. All we have left are our fathers, all of whom are different. Sometimes I think I could drown in all these emotions swirling inside me. The agony in unbearable. And it doesn't help that a girl from my house knows my secret, and she'll do anything to keep me in a bad state of mind.

I think I've just about run out of options. I'm not addressing this letter to anyone in specific. Nobody is going to know who this is anyways. I just know that all I can think to do is just put down my thoughts and feelings on this parchment, hoping that it makes me live another day. This agony is killing me, and I don't know how to deal with it. Father would never understand. Let's just see if something happens with this, if writing down these feelings help me out. I don't like to be alone, but I can't bring myself to get close to anyone. What a fuckin mess. I sound like a girl....

Ta ta for now,

[ISABELLA SABRINA ACKERLEY]

I’m not sure who this letter was meant for, or if it was even meant for anyone at all. But I came across it and for some reason I had this feeling that I should reply. So here I am replying to you Lonely boy. I’m not sure of who you are, or if you’re really even a person at all, for all I know the castle could be playing tricks on me or even Peeves, you know how he can be.

As for the animal inside of you, I in a way know how that feels. However, inside me isn’t an animal, but rather an ability, and ability I can’t control and often it scares me. It’s been getting worse with me as well, but I don’t think it’s the pressure for what to do after school as I’ve already decided what I want to do, and that’s to travel the world to learn how to control this wild ability of mine. I think the main reason why this is happening to me is because of the fact that dark things are coming… or at least that’s the feeling I get.

But enough about me and my wild ability, I felt compelled to write to you because I want to help you. Yes being that your last year is here, it makes things scary and honestly I’m afraid as well. But I don’t understand why no one would want you to teach? What is it that you want to teach, perhaps that can help me, help you. Is if I knew of what it is that you want to teach. I know they like it when you have infield experience so perhaps you can consider going out in that field first?

I’m sorry that your mother is dead. I don’t know what it’s like to lose a parent, but I know what it’s like to lose someone close. I have this feeling inside of me telling me that you’ll make it through and everything will be okay. I know it will be, and I can guide you through it if you like. Even if it’s only through the message of letters I’ll give you all the help I can give.

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[HECTOR ALLEN WULFE]

It's somewhat comforting to know that there is someone else out there who can understand the struggle I'm going through, even if its not the same kind. I truly was writing my thoughts out on paper, trying to make sense of everything brewing inside of me. I didn't fully intend for this to make it to anyone. I simply put a spell on that first letter, to just send it into the night. I guess it happened to land in the hands of someone who understands.

You're lucky. You can at least decide what you want to do with your life now. I cannot teach, for no one wants a werewolf to teach their children. No one wants to have a monster show their children magic. I've been told I'm not worthy. My father doesn't understand, he's a muggleborn. It must be nice to know what you want to do. I do like the idea that you can travel the world. I think it would be amazing to do that someday. Maybe then people won't judge me.

Thank you for offering your help. I do appreciate it. I don't know if you can. Sometimes it's hard to get close to someone. My emotions are always on eggshells. I have to keep myself shut away from people. There is only one person who can be around me when I'm... not myself, and she uses that to her advantage. I can only wonder what it would be like to be with someone who didn't use anger, or worse, to make me wolf out.

I too have felt something dark broiling within this school. I have felt this for sometime. Things are definitely different around here. I wish I knew what it was. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who's noticing it. Things are changing here, and I don't think that they're for the better.

I do appreciate you responding. Even though I never intended for someone to read that letter, I like how you took the initiative to write back to try to help me. Maybe we can help each other?



Sincerely,

[ISABELLA SABRINA ACKERLEY]

]

Well seeing as you shared a secret with me, telling me about your werewolf blood, perhaps I should tell you my secret so that we can connect even more to help each other. I am a seer, in case you couldn’t tell by my pen name. And yes, many would think it’s probably one of the coolest things out there, but they don’t have the ability so how would they know? I don’t always dream, but when I do it is of the future and I don’t know how to shut it off. It doesn’t help that it’s nightmares I’m having. I’m not seeing the good in the future, only evil. I saw that someone was going to get hurt on Halloween Night before it even happened, only at the time I didn’t know it would be poor Hugo. But now, now I’m seeing more people get hurt and glowing eyes, and these aren’t your normal glowing eyes.

I’ve been doing so much research trying to figure out how to control these dreams, ways to turn it off so I don’t wake up in sweat. It’s killing me inside, lonely boy, it is. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, not even my best friend or the Divination teacher has been able to help me. Perhaps this sounds quite similar to how your feeling?
So you want to be a teacher? I honestly don’t see anything wrong with that. As long as you take a wolfsbane potion, if your one of the werewolves that actually turn. I know there are half-werewolves out there that don’t turn, just have the same characteristics as a werewolf around the time of the full moon. I’ve done a lot of research, on well everything. So perhaps I can help you even more? I can find something that might help. But if you aren’t taking that potion yet, I recommend that you did. It even helps Half-werewolves as well.

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[HECTOR ALLEN WULFE]

I can see why you keep your secret, well, a secret. I wouldn't share those dreams with anyone if it were me. Those seem pretty intense, and scary really. Have you told the Headmaster? Maybe there's something you can take to make them go away, or at least be less intense and invading. They definitely don't sound pleasant. I can't believe you were able to see who was going to be attacked. That's one crazy power you have. But is in the darkest times that we must stick together. And it seems that times are only getting darker.

I've been doing a bit of research myself. I've noticed that the night of the full moon, it is possible for me to shift, but only partially. I just get wolf eyes, usually golden, and I have claws and fangs. But nothing else. I honestly haven't tried the potion yet, as I'm not sure if it would even help. But its worth a try. Especially if it will help me control myself better. Sometimes things get so out of hand, that I don't remember them in the morning.

There are times I wish I was normal. But I think that normal would be too boring. I don't know who I'd be today if I wasn't what I am. But I would like to meet that person someday. It would be nice I think. But like I said, I probably wouldn't be the same person.

Oh! Have you tried meditation? It sometimes helps me clear my mind. Maybe it can do the same for you? And some tea? I find that black teas are the most soothing for myself. Just some suggestions. I hope that maybe we can help each other out with our little problems.


Sincerely,

[ISABELLA SABRINA ACKERLEY]

The Headmaster, Deputy Headmaster, Divination Professor and Head of Ravenclaw Professor all know about my seeing abilities. My parents made sure they knew when I came to this school as in my first years of Hogwarts I could barely sleep at all. Afraid that I’d see something horrible. I do have good ones at times, but like I said lately it seems that only the bad ones appear, what is it that could be rising in the dark? And why am I seeing green glowing eyes?

So you can only change partway, well at least you don’t have to go through the whole horrible changing. I’ve read up on werewolves before and heard that changing it so painful that it drowns out their energy for a while and there are so few werewolves that actually enjoy changing. The one that I know of is Fenrir Greyback, I’m sure you’ve heard of him especially with a lot of his children roaming the school. I’m friends with one of them and am close with him but he isn’t bad at all like his father is. So I know that being part werewolf doesn’t automatically make you a bad person. It’s what you decide to do with your abilities that make you a bad person.

But I honestly do think that the wolfsbane potion will be a great help. Perhaps you should go to our potions professor and ask her for some? I’m sure she’ll make you some whenever you need it. I know she makes many others some as there are many around here that have werewolf blood, a lot more than back in my parents day as they said. Times have changed since then as people were scared back them of werewolves and didn’t want them near the school, but then there was Remus Lupin that proved that not all werewolves are bad and ever since those dark times were over students that were tainted with other blood such as werewolf or part-vampire have been allowed to come to the school instead of learning at home.

I don’t think I’d ever want to be normal either. I enjoy being different, who wants to be the same as everyone else? Yes we may be quite a bit different but it’s what makes us unique and I’m sure there is someone one day that will love us for who we are and not judge us because of our special powers.

I do meditation almost every day I even keep a dream journal and I see the divination professor quite often about my powers. She really has been quite a big help lately and I’m glad that she is there to help me. I don’t know what I would do without the professor’s support or the support of my best friend these past seven years. Have you ever seeked out a professor’s help or have a best friend to help you out? I can always be someone that can help you out as well.

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[HECTOR ALLEN WULFE]

To be honest, lately things have gotten out of control in my life. Things seem to be spiraling downward, and in a hurry. My best mate hates me, because we got in a fight. Not a verbal fight, a smack down, roll out, claws and teeth being used good ole fashion fight. Wounds were created, both physically and mentally. I will carry those scars with me for the rest of my life, since werewolf wounds never heal, even on another werewolf. I wish that I was mortally wounded I had stayed calm during that fight. Maybe then I wouldn't have ruined such a great friendship. I don't even feel good for winning that fight. The animal inside me seems to be taking more and more control, and I can't yet figure out why. But a few months ago, shortly after starting to write to you, it's been getting worse. I feel as if I'm constantly on eggshells around everyone, since by now most of Ravenclaw tower knows who I am. I have now spent four days in detention with the other wolf, and things aren't getting better. We still fight, this time verbally, and can't seem to agree on anything anymore. My best friend has now become my worst enemy.

I think that I may need to take your advice, and drink that wolfsbane potion. Maybe it will clear my head on the fullmoon, or the days leading up to the fullmoon. I've never struggled with this so much as I have lately. Even my family doesn't struggle like this.

I have never sought out help, unless it was familial support. I don't like sharing my secrets with people, though when writing you I find it increasingly easy to tell you them. It must be my confidence with writing them on paper. I don't know what to tell you about those visions you're having. Has your meditation been any help at all? Usually its used to clear the mind, so sometimes I could see it being a hindrance to you. But for the most part, I would say to keep doing the meditation, and maybe do something about your chakras. They are the energy ways that block your mind and spirit, and if you release the pent up energy, then maybe your visions won't be quite so horrible?

I would honestly love to have a best friend to talk to, but like I said, I ruined that relationship. Maybe these letters between us will help make things much better between us. You never know, we could have known each other for all seven years here, and not know we're writing to that person right now.

Sincerely,

[ISABELLA SABRINA ACKERLEY]

A fight? Wow that’s a bit extreme I guess surprisingly I haven’t heard of such a fight even though I’m in Ravenclaw. Perhaps it’s because I spends as much time as possible away from the Ravenclaw tower seeing as it seems to be more rowdy than it used to be. I remember how in the first couple of years at Hogwarts everyone was so into their studies and not being so loud all the time, but it seems that it’s gotten quite noisy in there and I tend to resort to the Library or an empty classroom so I don’t hear about much of the stories that go on in the Ravenclaw Tower. But I understand with your situation how things can get out of control. I feel that the Wolfsbane potion will help you out greatly in more ways than you think. It’ll help you keep your head at all times rather than let your emotions get to you too much. I’m not sure what it is that the two of you fought about, but it seems that it was something serious.

I do meditation a lot, write in a journal, visit the divination teacher, read the crystal ball. Pretty much anything that Professor Swanson and I can think about to try and make them a bit easier to handle. But this year has definitely been the far worse than usual. But with these couple of attacks that have happened, I think that’s why my dreams are acting up so much. Perhaps I shouldn’t try and push them out, and channel my energy into trying to learn more about what the dream is about before it actually happens. Maybe then I can save someone. I just hope that none of these letters get into the wrong hands, such as the one that is behind these attacks. They might feel like I’m a threat to know that I’m close to knowing what their moves are.

But best friends are always nice. I’m sorry that you lost yours. I have a best friend that I don’t know what I’d do without her. But there’s another close friend that I feel I’m losing to someone. And I just hope he makes the right decision, rather than go down the wrong path. I don’t know if I’d be able to pull him out of it.

But if you want I could be here for you? I know we haven’t met in person, but you know that you can write to me whenever you need a best friend. I can be your best pen pal, and like you said we may have actually known each other for our whole Hogwarts Career. Perhaps one day we’ll find that out.

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[HECTOR ALLEN WULFE]

You should know that I've decided to take the wolfsbane potion. I go out of my mind each full moon knowing that I could hurt someone, or that I could hurt myself. I've seen the damage firsthand of what the moon can do to me, and I can't put myself or anyone else through it anymore. I unfortunately don't know how to make the potion. Would you know how? Maybe we can actually meet each other sometime and you could help me, show me how to make it. I don't recall it ever being in our Potions books, because really, why would you want to know how to make it without needing it? I know that sounded bad. Maybe it's just me not knowing how to make it. -smirks as he writes-

I think that what you're doing to help the visions is great. I agree that maybe instead of trying to stop them, maybe you should figure out what they mean, or figure out what events cause them? Maybe that second idea would warn you about when you would get one, so you're not totally helpless. As for your friend that is going down the wrong path, I recently found out one of mine is too. Wouldn't it be funny if they were one person in the same? He just doesn't understand what's getting into him. If he joins the Dark Side -laughs at his own joke- then I don't think there's any hope of bringing him back.

You know what? We should meet in person. These letters seem to be helping us out. Next month is the Yule Ball, why don't we meet up there? We can finally meet face to face and see who's behind the mask, so to speak. Would you do the honors of attending the Yule Ball with me?

I just have one more thought before I finish this letter. Your visions... Maybe you should explore them with caution. I hear rumors, and the rumors aren't very good. I would hate for something to happen to you simply because you were trying to figure out your gift. If you want any help, any at all, please let me know. I know that it may seem corny and weird, but I will help you, and I would protect you from those who seek to harm you. You can find that I'm very.... influential when I want to be.

Tata for now,



Sincerely,

[ISABELLA SABRINA ACKERLEY]

I’m glad to hear that you’ve decided to start taking the wolfsbane potion. You only need to take it a week up to the full moon as well as a couple of days after the full moon, so it isn’t something you have to worry about taking all the time. And I do know how to make the potion. There’s actually a book in the Library on it, but also until we get a chance to meet and know who each other are, the potions teacher should have some stock supply of the potion. After all, you aren’t the only half-werewolf/werewolf that goes to Hogwarts. So the Professor always keeps a lot on hand as I’m sure many of them take the potion.

I shall be careful. It’s also one of the reasons why so few know about my visions in the first place and why I’ve learned occlumency to keep people out of my head. I don’t want the wrong person to get inside of my head either to know what’s going on with me as well. I know that with how things seem to be going it’ll be quite unsafe for many to know about my secret.

And as for the Yule Ball. Yes I would be honored to attend the Yule Ball with you. However, I’d like to let you know that I’ve never been on a date before, so I’ll be new at this as I didn’t even attend the last Yule ball three years ago during the last Hogwarts Tournament. I tend to stick to my studies mainly, so I really hope you don’t mind being my first date.

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[HECTOR ALLEN WULFE]

Well I think that maybe I will go to the library then, and try to find this book. Not gonna lie, I kind of forgot that I wasn't the only werewolf here, so I didn't even think to go to the professor. I could do that, but I can't learn to rely on it, because this is my last year here. I should really learn to do it on my own. Until I actually get good at doing it, I should probably go to the Professor though. But yes, thank you for letting me know that there was a book on it in the library. I may be studious, but I don't generally look for books I won't need.

I'm glad that you will look out for yourself. Even though I don't really know who you are, I would still feel bad if you ever got hurt or in trouble due to your visions. And even though this may seem a bit corny, and possibly a bit out of order, but I've included something for you. Its a charm. If ever you find yourself in need, just think of me while wearing it, and I will be by your side. Because I have a matching charm so that I know where you would be, but only if you needed me. Trust me, I'm not some creeper, I just want to make sure you're safe. Because I feel like we have a connection. Its a ring, aptly made of pewter and silver colored, and ironically in the shape of a wolf head. Like I said, just wear it and if you need me, my ring will heat up and I will feel that you need help, or that you need me. I will be by your side instantly. Unless we're at Hogwarts, at which point I will have to fly to you, instead of apparate.

I'm so glad that you said yes to going with me to the Yule Ball! I think that we'll have a great time. If you let me know the color of your dress, I will match my outfit with the color. And would you like a corsage? And please, don't be nervous about it being your first date. I've never been on a date either. My ex-girlfriend and I never went out in public. We just hung out. I truly and excited to take you to the ball!

Sweet dreams,



RING IS HERE

[HECTOR ALLEN WULFE]

Well I think that maybe I will go to the library then, and try to find this book. Not gonna lie, I kind of forgot that I wasn't the only werewolf here, so I didn't even think to go to the professor. I could do that, but I can't learn to rely on it, because this is my last year here. I should really learn to do it on my own. Until I actually get good at doing it, I should probably go to the Professor though. But yes, thank you for letting me know that there was a book on it in the library. I may be studious, but I don't generally look for books I won't need.

I'm glad that you will look out for yourself. Even though I don't really know who you are, I would still feel bad if you ever got hurt or in trouble due to your visions. And even though this may seem a bit corny, and possibly a bit out of order, but I've included something for you. Its a charm. If ever you find yourself in need, just think of me while wearing it, and I will be by your side. Because I have a matching charm so that I know where you would be, but only if you needed me. Trust me, I'm not some creeper, I just want to make sure you're safe. Because I feel like we have a connection. Its a ring, aptly made of pewter and silver colored, and ironically in the shape of a wolf head. Like I said, just wear it and if you need me, my ring will heat up and I will feel that you need help, or that you need me. I will be by your side instantly. Unless we're at Hogwarts, at which point I will have to fly to you, instead of apparate.

I'm so glad that you said yes to going with me to the Yule Ball! I think that we'll have a great time. If you let me know the color of your dress, I will match my outfit with the color. And would you like a corsage? And please, don't be nervous about it being your first date. I've never been on a date either. My ex-girlfriend and I never went out in public. We just hung out. I truly and excited to take you to the ball!

Sweet dreams,



RING IS HERE

[ISABELLA SABRINA ACKERLEY]

Thank you so much for the ring. I shall keep it on me, perhaps on a chain as to not arise questions from people that I know. However, I probably won’t use it at all until we at least meet in person. I rather our first meeting be at something like a ball rather than me being in danger for any reason. But I promise to keep it close.

There’s a book in the werewolf section on it. I’m sure if you ask the Librarian she can point you too it. If all else fails, I can get a copy and send it to you. I think I may actually own the book, but then again I own thousands of books, just most of them are in the library at my house.

I look forwards to the Yule ball. I’ll be going in a dark blue dressed, it’s a color I tend to stick to mainly cause everyone says it looks so good on me. Haha. But I’m sure we’ll have a great time. Shall we meet by the bar that will be set up in the Great Hall? I rather like butterbeer and they always seem to have a lot at these events.

Well if you want to get me a corsage, than I shall get you a butineer! Any particular flower you would prefer? I rather like white roses and blue hydrangeas if you want to go with that setting? We could probably set up an idea of what we want and send it into a shop so that they make them match and then send the corsage to you and the butineer to me and we can trade at the dance. How does that sound?

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[HECTOR ALLEN WULFE]

I understand. Someone might think it odd that you wear a ring of a wolf on your hand, without having ever met the man behind it. And I rather agree, a meeting at the Yule Ball should be our first one. It would be better to have it on good terms than bad ones. I can't wait until we can meet. You have truely lifted my spirits these past few months. I can't believe how much my persona on life has changed! I feel like you should know some more positive things that have happened in my life recently. I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago, before I asked you to the ball of course. I realized that she had been manipulating me, trying to make me see that being a werewolf was the best thing that could happen to me. At first I believed her, because she seemed so sincere. Then my little sister caught her hooking up with my best friend, and things went sour. She was telling him all the same lies she was telling me, and just like me, he ate it right up. My little sister is now beyond crushed that her boyfriend did that to her, and I'm just mad for not seeing it before. Now that things are over between us, I'm ready to move on to a more peaceful existence, taking that potion, trying to clear my head, and meeting you.

I feel better about myself now. I feel more confident, more controlled. I have realized that being a werewolf is just part of myself. I know how to control it, and I will. I won't fight what I am anymore. You and your kindness have helped me to see this. And for that I thank you.

I do believe you when you say dark blue looks best on you. And I shall match my tuxedo jacket to that color. As for a butineer, why not make it match the corsage that I will be getting you? We will truly be a great couple at this dance. Ugh, not that we're a couple or anything.... Or that I wouldn't want to be. Its just that I meant that we'd look great together... Oh, I have messed this up. Anyways, I can't wait to meet you. Here's hoping that you have a good night, with sweet dreams.

Yours,

[ISABELLA SABRINA ACKERLEY]

Well that’s good to hear that you dumped the girl that was lying to you and cheating on you. And I’m glad you dumped her before you decided to ask me to the Yule Ball. Not going to lie, I would find that kind of weird if you were still dating her when you asked me out. I’m also you’re happy to move on and clear your mind, it’s something that I tend to do a lot at night as it’s the only way Occlumency works for me. I have to clear my mind so that no one can read my mind; I mean I don’t know who would want to try to read my mind. But I got to practice it in case there is a day that they want to right?

Well I’m glad that my kindness helped you. You’re welcome for that and I hope that it continues on helping you out.

Alright, I can put in an order to the flower shop. I’ll tell them to send it to the Ravenclaw tower in a box and label the corsage as “lonely boy” and the Butineer as “heartfelt seer”. So it should be sitting on one of the tables the morning of the Ball I would say, that way we can pick it up sometime before the ball and then exchange at the ball? How does that sound to you?

Sorry my letter is a bit shorter than usual this time. I got my best friend glaring down my back telling me to hurry up. But for the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing why don’t we see what happens on the night of the Yule Ball? We can figure it out from there, don’t you think?

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