Need You N O W [JASPER]

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

seyton needed to get his head on straight. that was clear to anyone who might have encountered the head nurse in the last two days, though no one knew what exactly it was that was making him screw up the simplest spells, give the wrong medication to patients, and very nearly make a second year's injury even worse through a bit of sloppy healing magic. he couldn't focus on doing his job, and as a result another nurse had urged him to spend the day relaxing, which translated into seyton staying in his office trying (key word there) to do paperwork while the rest of the staff in the hospital tower looked after the few patients that trickled in throughout the day.

now though, it was night. other than the petrified fred weasley in the far corner of the hospital wing things were quiet, not a patient in the whole wing, and seyton could be left to his own devices. it was three am and he hadn't slept a wink. in fact, other than the two hours he'd gotten last night, he hadn't slept since angel had shown up at hogwarts with the news... potions had kept him functioning during the day, but they couldn't help with the look of exhaustion that was clear on his face, the near tortured expression in his eyes, and the way he was still so jumpy, nervous, and panicked. it wasn't anywhere near the full moon, so he couldn't blame the time of month for his moodiness. he was just extremely stressed, and constantly freaking out. it wore him down and there were some things that even magic couldn't fix.

he wasn't really in the mood to interact with people, which was why the night was such an ideal time for seyton. after pacing back and forth in one of his two 'bedrooms' behind his office, the torn one that he used on nights of the full moon, he decided he couldn't stay indoors anymore. he knew how much being outside could calm him around full moons sometimes... hopefully it would have a similar effect on stress unrelated to the monster that lurked inside of him. so, wearing jeans, a white t-shirt, and a grey sweater, the nurse grabbed his wand and headed outside, setting a course straight to the edge of the forest.

fenrir had been lurking lately, that was obvious and only added to the nurse's stress. but even after their last meeting seyton wasn't about to let the man's presence stop him from, hopefully, relaxing a bit under the moon and the stars. he'd wandered the forest for five years as a staff member at the school with no issues from the 'big bad wolf', he could get away with one more night undisturbed. besides, he might not regret encountering fenrir tonight... he felt like he needed a new punching bag.

as it was, though, the nurse had to settle for what the forest gave him. on the edge of the forest, a few metres in he found a tall, thick-trunked tree, and without even pausing to think the decision over his fist was flying towards it, connecting with the bark with a thud that left pain radiating up his arm and snow falling from the tree's branches to the already snow-covered ground below. sey gritted his teeth, pulled back with his arm, and let his fist fly forward again, sending even more pain shooting up to his shoulder. "so fucking stupid!"

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

life was looking up. he hadn't seen alexis in a while, him and nikki were getting things back on track, though it was slow, he disnt think she could forgive him all all, but she'd surprised him and taken him back. he grinned slightly. his eyes moving to look at the moon through the tree's as he sat against one on the hogwarts grounds. he knew he shouldn't be out of bed, but hey, it was a nice night, and he kinda needed to get homework done. and it was nice outside, horrible in his dorm room, so he'd decided to work outside in the piece, instead of in his dorm where the boys were all passing round a bottle of fire whiskey they'd snuck in. ever since the night on the astronomy tower, he couldn't even look at a bottle without his stomach turning, so he avoided the stuff as best he could.

he wrote something down on the parchment he was writing on, the quill gliding over the page easily as he wrote about a type of plant. he had no idea what the name of it was, he'd left that on the first page and that was that. he wasnt into plants, but he'd kept writing about it anyway, wanting to get a good grade on the paper, it was worth a bit to his grades. and he was trying to get good grades, impress potential bosses with how well you did in school? yeah that was something he thought would work in his favor. he ran a hand over his face, shifted and finised the essay. he grabbed his bag and shoved the paper into it after rolling it up. he'd put an enchantment on the bag, to make it bigger on the inside, something he'd learned in a class, and he'd done it. made it so much easier, though so much harder when you had to find things.

he absently ran his hand over the back of his neck his fingers running over the ravaged skin on the side of his neck. he shifted his head slightly, and he shook it. dropping his head back against the tree he ran a hand over his face and stretched out his legs. it wasn't a school day the next, so he'd be able to sleep in to his hearts content and be okay with it. he grabbed the bag and dug his hand around it for a second. he grabbed the can of soda from his bag and he grinned. he cracked it open and sipped it, his eyes catching movement behind the tree's in front of him and he smelt the scent of his brother. he was able to tel scents more easy now, pick up moment in pitch black even if it was silent. he frowned and downed the last of the drink, picked up his bag, shoved the can in it and moved over to where his brother stood. jasper saw his fist connect with the tree and he winced, knowing it had to hurt. he'd hit a tree before, and he'd been hit by a tree, it was safe to say they hurt.

"what did the tree ever do to you sey?" he said from his spot across the clearing from his brother. "so fucking stupid!" jasper frowned as he saw him hit it again and he rushed forward and frowned. "well yeah . . your hitting a tree" he dropped his bag and shook his head. e moved to grab his brothers arm and he frowned. "sey you'll only hurt yourself . . actually you already have . . so hit something softer" he said with a frown as he looked at his brothers arm then his face. "care to tell me what the problem is?" he said, it was all over his brother's face, and jasper could smell the anger in the air, call him crazy but he was kinda loving the cool new tricks he could do. the only downside was every month, the pain. thought he'd survived his first turn, so he was happy about that.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

of all the things that seyton might have expected to happen when he'd walked up to angel's door, this result was the last on his mind. he didn't have angel. he was still alone. and... he was a parent. in nine months there would be a baby boy or girl with angel, carrying the greyback genes and the curse that came with it. there was, of course, the small chance that the child would be one of the lucky ones... that they'd be born completely normal, not even a half werewolf, but luck had never been kind to seyton and so it made sense that luck wouldn't be kind to his offspring, either.

he shouldn't have gone to angel's place that day. she'd wanted nothing to do with him, he should have accepted it, gone away, moved on with his life, and forgotten about her. why was forgetting about her so hard? it went without saying that now leaving her in the dust would be an impossible task to him, not with what he'd now done to her, but before the night they spent together he could have. he could have thought of the meetings in the halls of hogwarts when she'd bolted off. he could have remembered how much of a danger he was to her... he could have stopped this whole mess from happening.

"well yeah . . your hitting a tree" that was the first jasper's voice registered in seyton's brain. he had great hearing, all from the werewolf genes, but had been a bit too preoccupied in self-loathing to notice his brother talking to him before he'd hit the tree a second time. the nurse paused, teeth gritted, and found that the urge to hit something again did not die just because his little brother was around. he didn't need to worry about restraining himself, though, because jasper took his arm for him, holding it steady. "sey you'll only hurt yourself . . actually you already have . . so hit something softer" the nurse was aware of a dull throb in his hand, wrist, and entire arm, but it was easy enough to ignore at the moment. later, probably not so much, but for now he had more important things on his mind than a bit of pain caused by a temper.

"care to tell me what the problem is?" the nurse closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath to try to calm himself. it barely worked, but a few seconds later he figured he might be able to at least explain himself without wanting to punch a hole in a tree trunk again. he slowly took his arm away from jasper's grasp, letting it fall to his side as his good hand rose to his face, rubbing his eyes and forehead to try and wake himself up a little bit more. it was a nervous habit of his. "i-" why did jasper have to be out here tonight? seyton had come out to the forest to be alone, to let off steam... he couldn't do that with his little brother around, not if he didn't want to risk aiming a punch or two at his brother in anger. "i've fucked up, jasper. so badly..." he swallowed, looking away from his brother off into the forest. "angel's pregnant."

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

jasper tries to keep his brother's arm in his grasp. he sighed and shook his head, letting go so h didn't hurt the guys arm more and he raised an eyebrow. he'd never seen his brother angry enough to punch a wall, alright, well he had, but that didn't count. jasper had been too hurt to care, or too drunk to care what his brother was feeling. now however, he would return the favor to his brother. he'd helped him, so now jasper would do the same. he pulled his wand out of his pocket and he moved to take seyton's arm again. "just . . keep still?" he said, knowing he probably wouldn't. jasper had had enough broken bones to know what one felt like. pressing on his brother's wrist he chewed his lip.

"i've fucked up, jasper. so badly..." he frowned slightly, glancing up at his brother with a frown and he shook his head slightly. it was never as bad as people thought. sometimes it was close, but it hardly ever was. the person just got so worked up about it they thought it was the end of the world. he knew what that felt like, he'd nearly become a pancake the last time he'd felt that and he shook his head slightly. "it's never as bad as you think sey . ." he said, pointing his wand at his brother's arm, muttering a spell he'd heard his brother use from time to time on his own broken bones and he chewed his lip.

"angel's pregnant." jasper froze and his eyes snapped up to seyton's face. he gaped slightly at him and then shook hsi head. "wait . . pregnant? . . as in your baby? . . or someone else?" he asked as he looked up at him, still shocked by this revelation. last he heard angel wasnt talking to seyton, though he'd tried to fix that and he hadnt know if it worked or not. "well she seemed pretty adamant she wanted nothing to do with you when i spoke to her . . . so you sure it's yours?" he saked, not wanting to speak ill of angel, since his brother loved her, but hey, he had to ask, it was always a possibilty right. firewhiskey, other alcohol, and other ways that jasper wasnt even going to think about. "all i'm saying is . . " he said, trailing off as he ran his hand through his hair and looks at his brother.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

"just . . keep still?" seyton sighed, but did as was requested. what jasper hoped to accomplish he couldn't hope to guess. yeah, he'd probably broken a bone, or two, or three. did he care? not so much. he had other things on his mind right now, and he actually didn't mind the jolts in his hand every time it moved. was it strange to say that pain kept him calm? still, if jasper wanted to play nurse for a minute, who was seyton to crush the dreams of a kid ten years his junior? ...the thought was far too cold and sarcastic for seyton to voice aloud, and he found himself a bit ashamed by it. his brother just wanted to help... he needed to relax and realize that. really, he should be glad that jasper was out here. who knew what sort of damage seyton could have done to himself in time if his brother weren't around.

"it's never as bad as you think sey . ." "sometimes it's worse." yep, he was definitely cheery. but he didn't have the time to tag on any more of his thoughts to the sentence before he was hissing in sharp pain, jerking his hand back and instinctively glaring at his little brother as he spoke through gritted teeth, "wrong spell." he growled, gripping his upper arm tightly until the pressure placed there dulled the throb of pain in his wrist. whatever spell it was jasper had used didn't seem to have made any change whatsoever to the appearance of sey's wrist... but the pain was definitely there. "just leave it. i'll take care of it later, i don't care right now." he paused. "besides. the pain keeps me grounded."

didn't seyton feel like a good role model right now, informing his little brother, who was practically his best friend, that he'd gone and knocked up a girl out of wedlock. his mother elodie, were she alive, would be scolding him not for the mess he'd gotten himself into but for the example he was setting for his little siblings... but jasper wasn't seven years old. he had enough sense in his head to know that just because seyton had screwed up didn't mean that he needed to go wild with nikki. teenagers were impulsive, not mindless idiots who followed the examples set around them without hesitation.

"wait . . pregnant? . . as in your baby? . . or someone else?" no, i'm acting this way because another man knocked her up. he thought sarcastically, but a moment later it made him wonder... how would his reaction have been if angel had told him that her child was another man's? he wouldn't have been happy... but that would have been the best permanent indication that he needed to move on. it might have helped him, in the long run, even if it initially crushed him... because this guilt was crushing him anyways, and he couldn't imagine even her being with another man making him as stressed as this was. "mine," he stated simply. that was what angel had told him, and she had no reason to lie. she had no reason to falsely tie him into her life even further.

"well she seemed pretty adamant she wanted nothing to do with you when i spoke to her . . . so you sure it's yours?" "she changed her mind... well, for about twelve hours, at least. that would be how i know that the kid is mine. the timeline... it's all right. i saw her just before christmas... she showed up at my door two days ago. it fits." of course jasper hadn't known about his meeting with angel before christmas... he'd been going through some issues of his own, they hadn't been speaking to each other much... there was actually a lot that seyton hadn't told his brother about recent events. maybe tonight would be the time. after all, if he was getting this off of his chest, he might as well get everything off of his chest. "all i'm saying is . . " the nurse shook his head quickly. "after that night... she changed her mind again and wanted nothing to do with me. it doesn't make sense for her to lie about me being the father, because it just ties me to her, and she doesn't want that." there was a pause as he listened to the younger werewolf's words again in his mind, and the nurse's eyes narrowed. "wait, what do you mean 'when you saw her'?"

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

"wrong spell." jasper hadnt meant to cause his brother pain, but at the glare coming from him, he was glad it had hurt a little. he narrowed his own eyes and shook his head. "well i didnt see you jumping to offer any suggestions" he half snarled and he shook his head. "fine . . how's this one?" he aimed his wand at seyton's arm and muttered another spell, episky was used to fix injuires right? surely it wasnt the nicest way to do it, and in jasper's experience it hurt like hell, but if what seyton wanted was to feel pain then that was the prefect spell. he shook his head. "just leave it. i'll take care of it later, i don't care right now." "besides. the pain keeps me grounded." jasper rolled his eyes and looks at seyton. "pain doesnt keep you grounded you idiot . . then nehter does slamming your fist into a tree" he said as he rolled his eyes.

"and i was only trying to help . . next time dont help me . . and i wont feel the need to return the favor" he said at his brother, shaking his head and folding his arms over his chest, his wand back in his pocket and he fixed seyton with a look. he didnt know the advice to give to seyton at the moment, he was frowing at him yeah, his mouth twisted slightly as he tried to think of a way to help his older brother. "mine," he looked at him and nodded. in all honesty, he didn't see the problem. he thought seyton should just go to angel and talk to her, attempt to and not leave till she agreed with something. but he knew his brother wouldn't do that, he was a werewolf, and he's fight fenrir, but when it came to angel he was an absolute coward.

"she changed her mind... well, for about twelve hours, at least. that would be how i know that the kid is mine. the timeline... it's all right. i saw her just before christmas... she showed up at my door two days ago. it fits." jasper shook his head. that was just after jasper had gone to talk to her. he chewed his lip and shook his head. "well didnt you try and stop her from leaving?" he asked, already knowing what had happened, it didnt take a ruddy genius to figure out where this was headed. "after that night... she changed her mind again and wanted nothing to do with me. it doesn't make sense for her to lie about me being the father, because it just ties me to her, and she doesn't want that."

he shook his head and he frowned. "well you are it's father so buck up! . . or are you really going to walk out of the kids life . . or let her decide whether you can even see it or not . . without a fight?" he frowned slightly. okay, so he had no idea what he'd do in this situation, he actually hoped he never got into this situation, and he was more than a little surprised that seyton had gotten into this situation and he shook his head. "or are you better than fen? . . yeah he did some bad things . . awful things . . but walking away from your kid . . or letting angel walk away with it . . i'd say its right up there with what he's done!" he said and he shook his head slightly. there it was, the question jasper had been expecting for the last five minutes. "wait, what do you mean 'when you saw her'?"

he frowned slightly, shaking his head and he ran his hand through his hair, messing it slightly. "i went to see her before christmas . . just after i got out of the hospital wing . . and you told me what happened . . i thought if i talked to her . . she might change her mind . . i didnt like seeing you so upset!" he said with a frown. "and since you were too much of a coward to go talk to her i did it for you!" . . he shook his head and he frowned. "thats what i meant by when i saw her" he said as he looked at him, waiting for his reactions to all he just said.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

"well i didnt see you jumping to offer any suggestions. fine . . how's this one?" nu-uh. no way. seyton was not going to take any of this. he was not in the mood for jasper's little teenage feelings being hurt and the retaliation for it. jasper was not a nurse, and maybe if seyton had explained that to him calmer the gryffindor wouldn't be so intent on what seemed like fooling around out of spite, but seyton was not in the mood to explain things calmly, either. a low, wolf-like growl rumbled from his throat, eyes flashing yellow as he tried to shove the boy's hand away at the same time that pain burst out in his wrist, and he ended up just jerking his arm away completely, not caring if his other hand had made contact with jasper's arm or not. "pain doesnt keep you grounded you idiot . . then nehter does slamming your fist into a tree" so now he wanted to assume what worked for seyton and not? "i've had seventeen years to figure out what works to calm me. when you're stressed, you try to throw yourself off of a tower. when i get stressed, controlled pain helps me calm down. leave it alone.."

"and i was only trying to help . . next time dont help me . . and i wont feel the need to return the favor" pouting like a child. how smart. "helping you is my job. you're a fifth year student. you're going to do more damage." that was his excuse, anyway. really, seyton just... didn't want to be fixed right now. he deserved a bit of pain, and it wasn't even pain, really. he had a high pain tolerance, built up through years of full moons and tempers that left him damaged as much as the person his anger was aimed at most of the time. what he'd said about the pain keeping him grounded was true, too. it kept his head clear, his mind focused on reality instead of his frustrations and thoughts. or at least, it usually did. today it was hard to make his thoughts focus on the present... he was too panicked about the past and future.

he ignored what his brother was saying about angel and stopping her from leaving. once the shock had registered he'd tried to follow her... but she'd been long gone, and the only trace of her he'd been able to find as he'd followed her scent through the halls was the ashes from a fire in a classroom and the remnants of floor power dust. and then once he'd started to think about what the baby meant... he'd had too much on his mind to go after her as well as too many reasons not to.

"well you are it's father so buck up! . . or are you really going to walk out of the kids life . . or let her decide whether you can even see it or not . . without a fight?" of course it was easy to say this when you were a bloody fifteen year old in a happy honeymoon stage relationship with a girl you'd been with for all of six months. seyton wished he could have the mindset he'd had when he was fifteen... so idealistic. so innocent... so stupid. "it's not that simple," he hissed, about to say more when jasper's next words his his ears: "or are you better than fen? . . yeah he did some bad things . . awful things . . but walking away from your kid . . or letting angel walk away with it . . i'd say its right up there with what he's done!"

before he even knew what he was doing, seyton's free unharmed hand was darting forward, clutching his brother's throat and spinning him around so that the boy was pinned against the tree seyton had been punching a few minutes earlier. adrenaline and the natural wolf strength that coursed through his veins kept the boy at eye level with seyton, which meant that his feet were a fair bit above the ground. sey's hand slipped from his neck, so that he didn't strangle the kid, down to his chest with a hard pressure to keep him pinned against the wood behind him. if seyton were himself he might have been worried about breaking the kid's bones, but he was clearly not, and so he didn't care much. "other than what i've done to the kid, i am nothing like fenrir," he growled, his face and yellow eyes inches away from his brother's. "it's because i'm nothing like him that i can't do this. i've cursed the kid with something i didn't want to ever inflict on any innocent child. okay. fine. i can't change that, however much i want to, but i am not going to lead fenrir straight back to him and angel. he'll kill her. he wants me to kill her. god only knows what he'll do to the kid. i can't do that. i can't put them in danger, but i already have just because i let my emotions get the best of me and am now going to be a dad because of it. he's going to find out and then..." he trailed off, but his frustration held strong. "i'd sooner die than them hurt. don't ever compare me to him."

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

"i've had seventeen years to figure out what works to calm me. when you're stressed, you try to throw yourself off of a tower. when i get stressed, controlled pain helps me calm down. leave it alone.." jasper frowned and shook his head. "that's not all you've had seventeen years to do" he said with a glare as he returned it, his own eyes flashing yellow in response to seyton s. he'd tried to help, it wasn't his fault his brother was feeling sorry for himself. it wasn't his fault he'd had the go at the tree, so jasper reckoned if this was how sey was gonna take it he wouldn't bother anymore. after all, it wasn't like jasper needed him to look out for him. he could do a good enough job of that on his own. "i was drunk too . . i imagine you did stupid things when you were drunk"

"helping you is my job. you're a fifth year student" he frowned, his mouth moving before he could think. "and right now your a first grade arsehole" he said as he shook his head. "you're going to do more damage." he couldn't help but roll his eyes at that. hypocrite. he shook his head. "now whose being the martyr" he muttered knowing full well seyton would hear him. there was no way he couldn't, the werewolf in him would make sure the words floated to his brain. he shook his head slightly, running his hand through his hair and looking at his older brother. he rolled his shoulders slightly, feeling the wolf fight to let go of his own bubbling temper but he squished it back down for now, he was gonna let seyton vent, he'd give him that. the guy did deserve that from him.

"it's not that simple," he shook his head. of course it was that simple. how could it not be. angel had let seyton in, she didn't hate him seyton just had to work out that woman were complicated and that it was never going to be an easy thing for him to deal with. but before he could say anything, and before he could react, sey's hand was around his throat, he coughed, and gripped seyton's arm as he spun him around. he coughed as he was shoved against the tree, pain shooting up his back as he was. he couldn't breathe with the pressure on his throat. he coughed as he reached for his wand, not getting a chance to grab it, he suddenly felt seyton's hand pressing against his chest, still suspended in the air, it felt like his whole rib cage shifted as he dropped a few centimeters.

he couldn't stop the yelp that escaped his mouth as the force of his brother's hand cracked the ribs underneath it. the two cracks rang in his ears, he'd heard the bones snap, and he was sure his brother had heard them too, and couldnt give too shits about whether he hurt jasper or not. his head dropped slightly, the pain like fire as sey's hand continued to press against his chest. every breath he tried to draw caught in his chest, the pain growing with every breathe and he lifted his hand, going to push his brother's hand with all the might he could muster, his own yellow eyes blazing as his brother got in his face. "other than what i've done to the kid, i am nothing like fenrir," "it's because i'm nothing like him that i can't do this. i've cursed the kid with something i didn't want to ever inflict on any innocent child. okay. fine. i can't change that, however much i want to, but i am not going to lead fenrir straight back to him and angel. he'll kill her. he wants me to kill her. god only knows what he'll do to the kid. i can't do that. i can't put them in danger, but i already have just because i let my emotions get the best of me and am now going to be a dad because of it. he's going to find out and then..." "i'd sooner die than them hurt. don't ever compare me to him."

jasper managed to push seyton's hand away, he had no idea how, but as the pressure came off his chest he dropped to the ground, his hand going to grip his chest as he hunched forward, his breath coming quick and labored as the pain grew. he couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips, the pain, similar to that he felt when fen had attacked him. "g-great w-way t-to p-prove . . y-your n-not l-like . . h-him" jasper said as he coughed, hunching forward more as the movement made him gasp in pain. he felt like he couldn't breathe, he couldn't reply to when seyton had said, but he managed to shift, so his hand went around his wand, he gripped it tight, his knuckles turning white as he glanced up at seyton, his eyes had gone back to brown, the waver of fear was behind him, no matter what, he'd never thought seyton would hurt him, ever. no matter what was said. but he'd been wrong.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

"that's not all you've had seventeen years to do" sometimes seyton hated the idea that certain people were better or more mature than others just because they were older. especially when he was young such ideas had pissed him off. he'd felt so mature, who were the professors to tell him he was still a child? he wasn't twelve anymore! but it had been that stubborn 'i'm old enough' foolishness that had caused angel to get hurt... that had caused him to go after fenrir and end up in st. mungo's himself. no matter how mature you felt, you always had growing to do. there was always someone better than you, someone stronger or wiser. sey'd had twenty-five years to figure that out.

"i was drunk too . . i imagine you did stupid things when you were drunk" of course he had. he'd been a teenager once. he'd partied, gotten drunk, he'd even done drugs (not that he'd ever recommend it). and yes, he'd done some damn stupid things that ended up in him waking in weird places or with weird people. but he had never gotten to the point where, drunk, he tried to launch himself off of a tower. "and right now your a first grade arsehole" he said nothing, just rolling his eyes. he was speaking the truth. jasper wasn't a healer, he couldn't help, and frankly seyton didn't want to lose all the bones in his hand just because jasper wanted to play hero in a way he could not. emotions were too high on his part right now for him to hope to say anything that wouldn't end in a a fist fight, and jasper wasn't exactly super calm at the moment either, so he kept his mouth shut from any comments.

"now whose being the martyr" he wasn't being a martyr. not in his eyes. jasper had been trying to be one believing that his existence would hurt nikki. what seyton was doing was only harming himself, and it did help himself keep calm. he preferred to think of himself as more of a strategist. this was something that worked for him. it's how he kept himself calm on days around the full moon, though usually he didn't hurt himself badly enough for the bones to break as they had. jasper was just being an idiot.

he wasn't thinking straight as he pinned jasper to the tree. whatever person he was seeing before him, it didn't seem like his little brother. that seyton was not himself was pretty clear to anyone who knew the nurse well. the wolf and all of its aggression was taking control of his human mind, leaving little room for his own judgement. later he'd be sorry. later he knew the guilt would crush him, but right now he didn't care. jasper had pissed him off, and sey was practically deaf even to the cracks of his bones that were nearly deafening at their short distance with sey's increased hearing.

but then, after his rant was over, he became aware of the situation. his brother's breathing was wrong, more difficult with the broken bones. his hands were pushing at seyton's, trying to get him to back off, and the nurse didn't resist. he let his hand fall back down to his side, a look of horror suddenly filling his face as he took a few slow steps back, away from his favourite little brother who had collapsed into a pitiful crouch at the ground. "g-great w-way t-to p-prove . . y-your n-not l-like . . h-him" the anger was still there, roaring through the nurse's veins trying to take control of his thoughts again, but he fought it once more, reaching for his injured hand and squeezing tightly with his strong one. the pain radiated up his arm again, causing a small cry from the nurse, but his eyes were slowly fading back to their normal grey-blue. he still continued taking a few steps back at a time until he stood a few metres away from his little brother, staring wide-eyed at him.

his eyes darted to the wand in his brother's grasp, gripped so tightly that the boy's skin was white from the pressure. the nurse swallowed, seeing the fear in his brother's eyes. he didn't want to scare jasper... he never wanted to scare jasper. "shit... jasper, i-" he took a small step forward, and then hesitated. he probably wasn't welcomed close to his brother right now. "i'm so sorry..."

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

jasper dropped his head back against the tree and he stared up at the night sky, trying to take breathes against the pain radiating out from his chest. yeah he'd had worse before, far worse, but this was different. seyton had given it to him, a fact he wasn't going to overlook so lightly at this point. yeah maybe he shouldn't have compared him to fenrir, but could you blame him? he couldn't. this had happened. he shook his head slightly, his eyes closing as he coughed, his head falling forward at the movement. he heard the cry from his brother, glancing up at him as he hurt his arm on purpose and he shook his head slightly. he shifted, curled his legs under him so he could lean forward slightly, leaning forward slightly seemed to make it easier for him to breathe, the hand with the wand held tightly in it on the ground next to him.

"shit... jasper, i-" jasper shook his head, lifting his eyes to see his brother take a step forward. he narrowed his eyes slightly, not wanting his older brother anywhere near him at the moment. jasper tried to shift back, gritting his teeth against the movment, his teeth grinding as he did and his hand moved to his side again, resting over the ribs seyton had broken. "i'm so sorry..." he heard the words and he looked up at his brother again, honestly, jasper didn't believe him. it was something, who believed the person who'd hurt them not three minutes after they did it. he just shook his head. "d-don't s-seyton . . " he said, his voice soft as he fought to drag the air into his lungs. "f-for t-the r-record . . y-you'd b-be a g-great d-dad . . " he spoke, wincing slightly as he shifted and looked at his older brother again. "j-just k-keep t-the t-temper i-in c-check . . y-yeah?" he managed a small grin, the anger at his brother was fading quick, along with the anger coming from the wolf, maybe his brother was right, pain kept you grounded.

he felt his grip on his wand slacken and he chewed his lip. he had every intention of walking back to the castle now, it couldn't be too painful to walk with broken ribs right? after all, it was his chest that was hurting not his legs. he shifted again, forced himself to his feet, the pain growing again as he did and he hunched forward, his fingers gripping at his ribs as he put his hand out to brace himself against the tree. something had changed, it hurt more, the bones in his chest, he could hear a grinding noise, and something that sounded an awful lot like bubbling. he shook his head slightly, struggling to even draw one breath and he shook his head. "s-sey . . i c-cant b-breathe . . " he coughed and leaned heavy against the tree, closing his eyes, it had worked last time to help mask the pain, wiling to try anything he was.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

seyton couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so guilty over something. it wasn't like this was the first time he'd ever hurt another wizard or something like that, his temper had drawn him in to plenty of bar fights or school yard fights through the years and he had a majority success rate on such little fist fights, but this was different than a random annoying man at the bar or a school bully who'd made fun of his bloodline. this was sey's little brother, for pete's sake! the kid he would do anything to help, anything to protect him... he had never thought he would ever hurt his little brother. ever. and yet... the impossible had happened.

he knew that jasper was just trying to help... his own stress levels and irritability hadn't exactly helped the boy keep his own mood calm. if seyton had been in his brother's position he probably would have reacted the same way. it wasn't jasper's fault that he'd managed to hit the comment that, ironically, really did manage to make seyton exactly like the man he hated more than anyone else. funny how life worked sometimes... and now jasper was hurt and seyton was shaken. he couldn't remember the last time he'd lost his self control like that. he was generally so good at keeping the wolf perhaps not controlled but at least hidden from everyone but himself. he was too stressed lately. this was probably a sign that the nurse was at his breaking point and needed to somehow calm down, but how could he possibly calm down now?

"d-don't s-seyton . . " the nurse cringed slightly. jasper hated him... of course he did. seyton couldn't blame him. jasper had trusted him, and sey had turned on him with a split second's impulse. the nurse ran his hand through his hair, looking off into the trees, deeper into the forest. maybe he should just leave. jasper'd probably be more relaxed with him not around... "f-for t-the r-record . . y-you'd b-be a g-great d-dad . . " he looked back to jasper, one eyebrow slightly raised. was that supposed to be sarcastic? "j-just k-keep t-the t-temper i-in c-check . . y-yeah?" among all of the other issues outlined as he'd been crushing his brother's chest, that was right up there with leading fenrir back to angel. he couldn't handle himself around a fifteen year old boy, apparently. how was he supposed to handle himself around a baby when his moods could be so dangerous?

the nurse stayed quiet, though, torturing himself with deserved thoughts of guilt and watching his brother with guarded eyes until the boy tried to stand, and sey could instantly tell something was wrong. "s-sey . . i c-cant b-breathe . . " the nurse was halfway across the distance between them, the next second he was at his brother's side. he slung the boy's arm over his shoulder, wrapping his own around the gryffindor's waist. "hospital wing. now." the billion apologies that still wanted to spill from his mouth could wait.

around ten minutes later they were in the wing, empty of course other than fred's figure still unmoving in the far corner. sey helped his brother to the same bed he'd been in a coma in a few months earlier, and quickly moved to the potions area to grab the right potion. a moment later he was back, handing his brother a goblet filled with the foul tasting liquid. "drink it all," he instructed, voice all business as he pulled out his wand and directed it to the boy's chest, muttering some spells to help aid with the bone's healing.

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

jasper felt his brother lift his arm, not being able to do much to fight him, he let him. he felt his brother's arm go around his waist and he leaned against him slightly, the pressure on his chest eased off slightly, allowing him to draw short sharp breaths, which was better than nothing right. "hospital wing. now." jasper nodded slightly, having no objections to going to the hospital wing. he trusted his brother not to take out his anger anymore, he just hoped that trust wasn't misplaced in someone he had trusted for years.

the hospital wing felt like it was on the other side of the world. it took them forever in jaspers mind, each step taking more and more effort as they walked. he'd leaned on his brother the whole way, feeling bad about leaning on him when he was hurt too, and going through so much, but hey, it wasn't like he'd be able to walk on his own, he'd have fallen flat on his face in the first minute of getting out of the forest. he shook his head slightly, the doors to the hospital wing opening as thy walked up to them. moving to the bed he was in the last time, he sat down, sliding onto the white sheet of the bed. he looked around the room quickly, it was quiet, except for fred, he chewed his lip and went back to watching seyton search through the cupboards at the end of the wing.

jasper rested his hand on his side and his head forward, his eyes closed in defense against the throbbing in his side. he heard seyton come back, his nose picking up something foul smelling and he pulled back from his brother, his nose wrinkling and his eyes narrowing. "w-what the h-hell?" he said as he glanced at the cup seyton had in his hand. "drink it all," jasper knew the smell, it was that foul tasting potion seyton had made him drink the last time he'd been here, the stuff that had stayed in his mouth for ages after, he'd still been able to taste it even after waking up two weeks later. he took the cup, pulled a face and downed the liquid. he coughed slightly, wiping off his mouth and groaning as it burnt the back of his throat, it wasn't just his hearing and eyesight that was enhanced, his taste to.

he dropped the cup onto the table as he finished, making sure he'd drained it so his brother couldn't kill him and he shifted, wincing as he felt the spells his brother cast at him work on his ribs, melding them together, mending the bones and ligaments his brother's had had broken and crushed. he shifted from his brother slightly, still a little mad he'd done that, hey it wasn't like he could help it, seyton had tried to crush his chest, a few more centimeter's to the left and his heart would have been crushed, so in all fairness, sey could have killed him, but he didn't, and now he was helping him, the anger was slowly ebbing away, like the pain in his chest. he glanced at seyton, his hand going out to grip his older brother's shoulder. "r-right . . i m-meant it s-seyton . . d-don't let her go . . o-or . . the kid g-go . . okay? . . i . . i didn't mean t-to say you were a-anything like him . . and if t-that's what you heard . . t-then i'm sorry . . but . . i-if you do l-let h-her and t-the b-baby go . . t-the kid'll p-probably h-hate you . . a-as much a-as we h-hate fen . . " he said as he turned his head to cough, running a hand across his face he shifted, and made to stretch out along the long white bed, his hand still on seyton's shoulder.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

"w-what the h-hell?" despite the turmoil of emotions within him right now, sey couldn't hold back a slight chuckle. there were certain selective benefits to being a werewolf. heightened sense were usually one of them. there were many times when seyton had actually found it useful to be able to hear conversations rooms away in the castle, catch the scent of an approaching witch or wizard, or see clearly in the darkness of the night. but heightened senses never benefited a werewolf when it came to medicine. it was like an unspoken rule of the profession that nothing a healer used that actually helped a patient could taste good. nothing to dull the foul taste would be useful because the ingredients to do so would change the potion entirely, making it ineffective, so as terrible as it was those with heightened senses just had to suck up the 'punishment' and deal with it. he could pity jasper though. after all, he'd been through the same thing a few times through the years.

his brother pushed through the terrible taste, though. a good thing seeing as, even if he'd tried to refuse the potion, sey would have just poured it down his throat anyway. jasper couldn't heal properly if he didn't take in the potion, and him not healing properly was not an option. it probably went without saying that seyton still felt terrible, and he knew he would for probably weeks or more to come. jasper was the last person on the face of the planet who deserved to have seyton's frustrations shoved out at him. the boy had done nothing but try to help, he'd always been there for seyton throughout the year, and yet he'd been the one that seyton had flipped out at. the nurse cringed slightly, thinking of how much worse the situation could be... he knew how strong he was. the limitations he'd never explored, but the damage he'd inflicted on his brother was practically minimal compared to what could have been done. he wouldn't blame the gryffindor for hating him, for not trusting him ever again, which was what he kind of expected the outcome of this to happen. what was that saying? something about trust being like a mirror. once it's broken, it could be put back together, but the cracks would always show.

"r-right . . i m-meant it s-seyton . . d-don't let her go . . o-or . . the kid g-go . . okay?" sey let himself sit down on the end of the bed, not really looking at his brother, and so he wasn't expecting the hand to grip his shoulder in what was probably supposed to be an attempt at comfort. " . . i . . i didn't mean t-to say you were a-anything like him . . and if t-that's what you heard . . t-then i'm sorry . . but . . i-if you do l-let h-her and t-the b-baby go . . t-the kid'll p-probably h-hate you . . a-as much a-as we h-hate fen . . " 'fen'... since his attack on angel, seyton had never once referred to the alpha werewolf as his father in the present. it was always fenrir, because he believed the man didn't deserve to be a father. he didn't want to just be 'seyton' to the child... when he was younger he'd actually wanted to be a father. it had been a key part of the future he envisioned for himself before he realized the curse he would be shoving on his offspring. he wanted to be a part of the kid's life, he didn't need to do deep soul searching to know that, but...

"i... i don't want them to get hurt, jasp..." sey was miserable, completely torn, always thinking of the worst possible scenario. after his last encounter with fenrir it wasn't safe for him to be around angel anymore... the day before christmas had been a stupid impulsive move he'd regretted only a few hours later, and he'd vowed not to repeat it. fate wasn't giving him much of a choice, though... unless he just cut himself off from her and the child. "and... and he will hurt them. he wants angel dead because of how much she means to me, because she's the reason he doesn't have his bloody perfect son. he almost imperiused me to kill her and i barely resisted. if i were with her again he'd have all the more reason to hurt her as soon as the opportunity arose." he was being too hard on himself, really, and the word 'barely' was misleading. there weren't many wizards in the world who could have held on to their own mind directly after one cruciatus curse, let alone a double, but seyton had a habit of focusing on the negatives that made him feel weak. "it's... it's safer for them if i stay away, even if they hate me for it." he was being stupid, and deep down he knew it. the second fenrir got wind of a new child in the greyback bloodline he'd be keeping tabs on angel and the baby, if he let either live at all.

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

"i... i don't want them to get hurt, jasp..." if jasper had the energy he woul dhave tried to knock his brother out for that. it wasnt like he would have hurt the kid, jasper knew he'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time, something his mind was letting him think now his ribs were healing and the pain was fading into the background. he shook his head slightly. "they wont . " he said looking at seyton. "cant you s-see how s-stupid your being?!" he half yelled it at his brother, wanting to get through his thick skull that not everything was going to go wrong. not everything that could go wrong would go wrong. he knew his brother was only thinking of angel and the kid, but he didnt have to act so think.

"do you k-know how lucky the k-kid would be to have a dad like you?" he said as he made himself sit up, his arm resting on his knee, his chin on the other hand, he relaxed into the bed slightly, certain seyton's temper was in check and he looked at his eldest brother. who in reality, had been more like a father to him that a brother since they'd met, but now jasper was getting older, he was his brother. and he wanted the best for seyton, he hated seeing him coop himself up in this tower when he could be out living a life. he shook his head again. "you . . you have the chance to do s-something great . . " he looked at him. he himself had always wanted kids, whenever he looked at his future he saw money, nikki and kids. he wanted to do a better job than his parents had that's for sure. "what would your mom think? . . or what would she tell you to do?" jasper said quietly, looking at seyton. "she had you knowing what fen could have done to you if he so pleased . . it didn't seem to stop her" he said, chewing his lip and looking at his brother.

"and... and he will hurt them. he wants angel dead because of how much she means to me, because she's the reason he doesn't have his bloody perfect son. he almost imperiused me to kill her and i barely resisted. if i were with her again he'd have all the more reason to hurt her as soon as the opportunity arose." jasper almost sighed. his brother couldn't see it, and jasper was running out of ways to help him come to his senses. he shook his head again. "and how long do you think she'll last if fenrir decides to attack her again . . and your not their to help protect her? . . your not seventeen anymore seyton . . your older, stronger, and i'm guessing taller . . " jasper knew that even though seyton thought he couldn't protect his family, that they'd stand a higher chance if seyton was there. "you saved me from him remember?" jasper said, hoping that argument might help his brother realize that he could do it.

"it's... it's safer for them if i stay away, even if they hate me for it." jasper frowned and shook his head. that was a load of bull in jasper's mind. it wasn't safer, it was just harder, harder for them and for him. "no you mean it's safer for you because you can sit here in your tower? . . it wont be safer for angel . . it will be harder . . she'll have to raise the kid on her own . . and worry about fenrir coming after them . . and then have to try and protect the kid while your here . . or wherever you are . . " jasper shook his head and he dropped back against the bed. he ran his hand over his face and coughed, his hand moving to his side as he did and he rolled onto his side, looking over at seyton he shook his head slightly, feeling the medication taking effect, he was feeling tired. "do i have to stay? . . or can i go to my dorm?" he frowned slightly, looking at his brother, hoping something he'd said had sunk in.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

"they wont . " he said looking at seyton. "cant you s-see how s-stupid your being?!" how the hell could jasper know that? he couldn’t be sure, and as long as there was a chance seyton’s presence would put his child and angel in more danger he wasn’t going to go near them. he’d had seven years away from the woman convinced she hated him already. he’d… dealt with it. things wouldn’t change too much for him, other than the fact that he’d now be leaving behind a baby with her. and angel… well, she was strong. she’d be a great mother, if she decided that she wanted to have the child even without the father being who he was and not present. and the kid… not much difference, in sey’s opinion. he could easily hate seyton for the werewolf gene, anyway. what was one more reason to hate his or her father, really?

"do you k-know how lucky the k-kid would be to have a dad like you?" the question actually made the nurse pause, brow furrowing as he thought. lucky? with a parent like him? the nurse could only focus on the negatives… surely they’d outweigh the positives. sure, he could all too easily imagine himself as the type of father who constantly teased their child about crushes, spoiled them rotten, brought them to quidditch matches, embarrassed them in front of their friends, the type of father he had wished he’d had- the normal kind, but… "you . . you have the chance to do s-something great . . " it was a chance seyton had always wanted, but then again never wanted, and now he didn’t know which side to go with. what was done was done. he hadn’t wanted to have a child. too late to change that now. he wasn’t going to tell angel to get an abortion; the thought actually made him sick. he had always wanted to be a father, though. far different than having a kid. having a kid meant just that, you gave life to another human being. being a father was everything else; caring for them, nurturing them, building a solid, good relationship with them…

the nurse stayed silent, staring at a place in the wall so that he didn’t have to look at jasper, as though that would help him not be persuaded by his brother’s words. "what would your mom think? . . or what would she tell you to do?" at those words, though, he directed his gaze back to the littler greyback who was somehow finding what seemed like all of the right words to play at seyton’s doubts. his mom… his specific memories of her had faded through the years, he’d been far too young when she’d died, but he would never forget the impact she’d had on his life. she’d been everything fenrir had not been to seyton. though he would never try to undervalue the work of his adoptive family, it was because of elodie that he was the way he was today. and if she knew the turmoil going on in sey’s head… she’d whack him on the back of the head and tell him to man up, because she hadn’t raised her son to walk out on his family. afterwards she probably would have encourage him with everything else, reassuring him in much the same way jasper was. she wouldn’t rest until he was looking after angel by being by her side… "she had you knowing what fen could have done to you if he so pleased . . it didn't seem to stop her" seyton still didn’t understand the dynamic his mother had had with fenrir. she had loved him in her own way, he knew, but was his complete opposite in personality.

"and how long do you think she'll last if fenrir decides to attack her again . . and your not their to help protect her?” the nurse visably cringed at the image that scenario projected into his mind. jasper was right… he couldn’t leave her to just fend for herself. if the kid had werewolf blood fenrir was bound to show interest. ” . . your not seventeen anymore seyton . . your older, stronger, and i'm guessing taller . . " true, true, and true, but while sey had gotten stronger so had, apparently, fenrir, not to mention his followers. "i'm still not as strong as him. at least, not when he has jaedyn with him..." the nurse remarked quietly, a small scowl curving his lips at the memory. he forgot that jasper had no idea what he was talking about. "you saved me from him remember?" ”i do. you don’t,” the nurse stated simply, but it didn’t seem as though he was trying to discourage himself from being around angel anymore.

"no you mean it's safer for you because you can sit here in your tower? . . it wont be safer for angel . . it will be harder . . she'll have to raise the kid on her own . . and worry about fenrir coming after them . . and then have to try and protect the kid while your here . . or wherever you are . . " the nurse sat in silence for a moment, looking at the same wall once more. ”you’re right,” he announced quietly, running a hand through his hair. "screw it. what i did has been done... i can't abandon them." now he just had to talk to angel before he could talk himself out of it again. "do i have to stay? . . or can i go to my dorm?" the nurse frowned, glancing at his little brother. he looked better already, thank god, but things could still go wrong. "you... you can go, if you want to." he wasn't going to voice it, but he did kind of want jasper to stick around. sure, his issue was 'solved', but he still needed his brother to talk to right now.

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

”i do. you don’t,”jasper rolled his eyes slightly. he remembered everything that had happened after that though, seyton helping him, saving his life. "yeah . . but that's not the point . . is it?" he raised his eye brow and watched his brother. he didn't want his brother to pass this up, he'd finally be able to do things he wished he'd been able to do as a kid, which is something jasper reckoned he wanted, everyone wanted it didn't they. he let seyton think, he knew what he'd said had made his brother think, how could it not, seyton might be slow at this moment, but he wasn't that much of an idiot to not get what he was being told. so jasper shifted slightly, relaxing into the bed as he let the effects of the meds wash over him, the drowsiness lingering as he tried to keep his eyes open.

”you’re right,” jasper grinned slightly and rolled his eyes, looking at his brother he opened his arms and raised them to the roof slightly. "bring on the hallelujah chorus" he said as he shifted again, his foot nudging seyton in the shoulder. "took you l-long enough to figure it out" he said. "screw it. what i did has been done... i can't abandon them." he nodded slightly. you couldn't change the past, jasper didn't know why so many people tried so hard, but you could change how the future looked, you could make it look bleak, or you could build it up if you so pleased, filling it with birthdays and toys and kids stuff, in seyton's case anyway. "and your n-not gonna deprive me of the chance to spoil my niece or nephew right?" he said a grin on his face again as he stifled a yawn, his head resting back against the white pillow of the starch white bed.

"you... you can go, if you want to." the tone of his brother's voice made him look. he chewed his lip slightly, there was still something weighing his brother down. jasper wasn't stupid, he'd caught the slip up that seyton had done, jaedyn? he'd heard that name somewhere, not exactly sure where,. but he knew it couldn't be good. pair it with fenrir and he was guessing it was even worse. jasper chewed his lip, scratched at his now healing ribs and forced himself to sit up, though his head swam slightly from being drowsy. "promise not to try and crush my chest again?" jasper said, he was still sore his brother had done that, but being mad at him, well it wasn't really a reality, seyton really was, the only family jasper had ever really had, his mother had been great, while he'd been human, but still. "you can promise that . . i'll hang around . . don't think i could get off the b-bed anyway" he said. he shifted to lay on his side, moved to kick his shoes off, laying on a bed with shoes on was really odd, and if he was gonna spend the night, he'd rather not do it with his shoes on, his jeans he could handle, but not his shoes. "now . . what was that about fenrir? . . and jaedyn was it?" he asked, watching his brother.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

"yeah . . but that's not the point . . is it?" sey sighed, but chose not to respond. it was a point, it was a point to seyton's cause. yes, he had helped jasper out in that situation, but he very nearly didn't. had fenrir been casting a different spell, a more lethal one, he and jasper would not be having this conversation right now. that could have happened just as easily as fenrir had aimed obliviate at his brother... so he didn't really feel like he'd won that battle at all. the victory was too small for the nurse, especially in his current clearly pessimistic state, to count. maybe the change that was inevitably occuring in his life would help pull him out of his pessimistic, depressing stage to one a bit more happy, but at this point, who could really tell?

"bring on the hallelujah chorus. took you l-long enough to figure it out" seyton couldn't help the small grin that spread across his lips at his brother's jabs. he gently shoved the gryffindor's shoulder, teasing. "watch it, or i'll go psychotic on you again," he teased, though his smile faded quickly after the comment. to joke around was instinctive, but what he'd done to his little brother was still very fresh and seyton still felt absolutely terrible about it. he was surprised jasper was still around him at all... he was a danger to his own little brother, and the thought made seyton sick. he did not want to be like fenrir. he didn't want to be anything like fenrir. but he'd just attacked his own brother, his own best friend. he'd already hurt angel, though indirectly many years ago, and had the capabilities to do so again, clearly. then harming his child would be the next step, when the baby was born, that was.

"and your n-not gonna deprive me of the chance to spoil my niece or nephew right?" that encouraged a bit of a smile from the head nurse again. "as long as angel allows me in their lives, you'll have all the access to him- er, or her, you could want," he promised. but of course it all depended on angel... maybe she'd changed her mind since she came to the hospital wing. any way, jasper would be a fantastic uncle... he could already imagine the gryffindor leaning over some baby crib, cooing at the infant within... and then the jasper in that image transformed into seyton, and the nurse was struck by fear again. how could he be a father? other than his siblings and patients in the hospital wing he had no experience with kids. he'd be a fish out of water when it came to parenting his own child. he could only pray he wouldn't fail miserably.

"promise not to try and crush my chest again?" it seemed like a bit of a teasing comment, but seyton still cringed, thinking of how much worse jasper's injuries could have so easily been... "i'm so sorry," he repeated softly, meaning every word of course. it had been a long time since he'd lost control of the wolf like that, and the nurse would probably be beating himself up about it for months to come especially because of who the snap had happened by. "i... i should have been more careful. and you were completely right. i could have seriously injured you..." not that he hadn't, but by 'serious injuries' seyton was referring to things magic could not fix within a matter of minutes, things like death for example. he couldn't be able to live with himself if he hurt anyone like that, let alone his little brother. "you can promise that . . i'll hang around . . don't think i could get off the b-bed anyway" "i could probably get you a potion to help you wake up a bit. if you wanted, that is. i won't keep you up for too much longer otherwise," he promised. after all, just because his brother was staying in the hospital wing didn't mean he automatically wanted to stay awake and talk to his brother.

he shifted on the bed again, moving so that jasper had move room to spread himself out as jasper sat on the edge of the bed by the boy's feet. "now . . what was that about fenrir? . . and jaedyn was it?" the werewolf paused, running his hand through his hair as was apparently a nervous habit of his. "i..." he sighed. how much could he tell his brother? how much should he tell his brother? "a while back, after you were bitten, i ran into fenrir on the way to hogsmeade, in the forest along the path... i was stupid and pissed off, and decided to stop to 'chat'. i figured him against me, if he tried anything, i could just apparate away... and then jaedyn showed up." as he spoke he could feel the crushing power of the other werewolf's fist slamming into the back of his head as it had that day. "jaedyn lopez... you've probably met him. huge hulking beast of a werewolf, my age- a year younger, actually- unfortunately good looking according to women, definitely the brawn of things? unfortunately he's got some brains, too. i... i was the idiot who turned him, when we were in our first year of school. accidentally... i've regretted it every day since, and not just because he was my best friend..." meaningless details, things jasper didn't really need to know. seyton was aware that he was rambling, so he tried to shorten his thoughts. "jaedyn nearly knocked me out, i lost my wand... and they had fun with their unforgivable curses while i was completely helpless to fight back. they could have killed me. easily. the only reason i'm still alive is because they're sadistic bastards, and eventually i got desperate enough to try wandless magic, which amazingly worked for once, and... yeah. i got away. but i could be dead if they hadn't wanted to have their fun. i'm pathetically weak next to them, and if i can't protect myself how am i supposed to protect angel and th- our baby?"

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

"i'm so sorry," he shook his head slightly, shifted to run his hand through his hair and he looked at him, his eyes flashed slightly, he couldn't control his eyes when his emotions were all out of whack. "seyton i don't want you to say sorry . . " he said, almost sharply. yeah he'd jsut convinced seyton to do right by his kid but he was still hung up a little on the fact his brother had done what he'd done, and at the time, even thought he'd been angry seemed to show no remorse, until after jasper has asked for help. "i want you to promise you wont do it again . . you scared me seyton" he said, pointing out that fact, he wasnt afraid to admit to seyton when he was scared, hell seyton knew the only thing that had ever really terrified him was the night fenrir had attacked him. and then seyton had turned right around and turned on him, turned on everything he'd said in a moment. "i... i should have been more careful. and you were completely right. i could have seriously injured you..." jasper shook his head slightly, it was great that seyton realised that he could have hurt him, but "seyton you could have killed me . . and i'm pretty certain another second of that kind of pressure on my heart could have stopped it" he said as he dragged his hand over his face, he shook his head, he knew it didnt matter now, not really, but still, he'd had to say it, he couldnt have just shrugged it off and said it was okay, it wasnt, it was far from it.

"i could probably get you a potion to help you wake up a bit. if you wanted, that is. i won't keep you up for too much longer otherwise," he looked at him, and he shook his head. yeah he was tired, but he could stay awake a bit longer, it's more the fact that he didn't want to move, his limbs felt heavy, his chest numb, he figured it was one of the potions seyton had given him, making it harder for him to shift as much. like he had before, when he'd been hurt by fenrir. he thought it ironic really, that the first time he'd been in the hospital wing for something serious, had been because of the man he hated most, and the second time he'd been brought in for something serious, had been the man he loved most. as cheesy as it sounded, and no matter how corny, seyton was the person jasper loved most, he and nikki would be tied for first anyway. he wasn't afraid to say it, but that's how it was. and, the irony of it was almost cruel.

"a while back, after you were bitten, i ran into fenrir on the way to hogsmeade, in the forest along the path... i was stupid and pissed off, and decided to stop to 'chat'. i figured him against me, if he tried anything, i could just apparate away... and then jaedyn showed up." "jaedyn lopez... you've probably met him. huge hulking beast of a werewolf, my age- a year younger, actually- unfortunately good looking according to women, definitely the brawn of things? unfortunately he's got some brains, too. i... i was the idiot who turned him, when we were in our first year of school. accidentally... i've regretted it every day since, and not just because he was my best friend..." "jaedyn nearly knocked me out, i lost my wand... and they had fun with their unforgivable curses while i was completely helpless to fight back. they could have killed me. easily. the only reason i'm still alive is because they're sadistic bastards, and eventually i got desperate enough to try wandless magic, which amazingly worked for once, and... yeah. i got away. but i could be dead if they hadn't wanted to have their fun. i'm pathetically weak next to them, and if i can't protect myself how am i supposed to protect angel and th- our baby?"

jasper listened, stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt his brother on what was something so important and he nodded slightly. jaedyn lopez, he'd met him, he didn't exactly remember what he was like, but he knew the name, met him while he'd been hanging around in fen's crowd for a while. jasper shook his head slightly, moving to sit up and he reached out and he rested his hand on his brother's shoulder, squeezing it gently in a show of brotherly support. he felt a flash of anger toward his father, and this jaedyn person, if anyone was allowed to bug and torture seyton it was him, not them. he shook his head and he looked at him. "seyton the fact your here . . proves the opposite" he started out slowly. "mate . . you came up against fenrir . . and one of his lackey's . . one of his strongest and you came out alive . . you beat their curses . . " he shook his head slightly, not sure how he could put this in any sense. "your far from weak seyton . . thats the furtherest thing from the truth and you know it . . you came out alive . . there's no way in hell i would have . . or anyone else would have for that matter . . " he looked at him and he shifted closer, his finger moving to poke seyton's temple ligtly. "you have a very low view of yourself . . something you tore strips off me for having not three months ago . . stop thinking what if . . start focusing on the fact you got away . . you beat them . . without a wand . . now thats impressive bro . . really"

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

"seyton i don't want you to say sorry . . " for a moment the nurse was confused. he needed to say sorry, because it was the truth. he'd never wanted to hurt jasper. not now, not ever. his emotions had just taken control of him before he could hope to withhold them, and he wouldn't stop regretting it any time soon. "i want you to promise you wont do it again . . you scared me seyton" that was the last thing the nurse wanted. he was jasper's big brother, he should be, logically, the one person that jasper would never have to fear. he should always be the protector, the guy that the gryffindor could always trust with whatever issue was thrown his way. "i want you to promise you wont do it again . . you scared me seyton" the mental image made sey cringe, biting his lip. what would he have done if that had been the outcome? he'd never forgive himself. he'd never be able to expect anyone to forgive him, either. "it... it won't happen again, jasper. nothing like that will ever happen. i swear it," the nurse promised, all traces of the big brother joking attitude complete gone from his tone. if he raised a single hand against jasper, even if no contact was made, he wouldn't expect his brother to even think of speaking to him ever again. he'd come far too close to seriously damaging the gryffindor. trust was something that shouldn't be tested too many times.

the nurse was always his biggest critic. he knew that, but it didn't change how he felt. he was always looking for how things could and should have been better. if he was successful in something he looked for ways that his performance could have been improved. if he failed, well, then he was just a bitch to himself. he was the first person to assure everyone else that they were amazing at whatever it was that they did, but his expectations on himself were far too high and even if he recognized that fact it would never change. he could never lighten up on himself. no pressure meant lenience, lenience led to not caring, not caring led to messing up.

"seyton the fact your here . . proves the opposite" the nurse frowned, not understanding what his brother was saying. he'd ran away, he hadn't fought back at all. he'd turned tail, like a coward, because he knew and it had been proven that he stood no chance next to the two more powerful werewolves. "mate . . you came up against fenrir . . and one of his lackey's . . one of his strongest and you came out alive . . you beat their curses . . " "i didn't beat them," seyton corrected, eyes narrowed slightly. "they had me. i just somehow managed to prevent myself from passing out." it was an important distinction, in his mind. after all, it wasn't like their spells were intended on killing him. not at that moment, anyway. they'd just wanted to torment him, and they had certainly succeeded.

[/"your far from weak seyton . . thats the furtherest thing from the truth and you know it . . you came out alive . . there's no way in hell i would have . . or anyone else would have for that matter . . " again, mental image of a dead brother, not at all something appealling to the nurse. he'd like to think that even fenrir had his limits, though, and that he wouldn't do what he'd done to seyton to jasper. at least, not when he was only fifteen. who knew, thought? the man was definitely sadistic. he was capable of it. "you have a very low view of yourself . . something you tore strips off me for having not three months ago . . stop thinking what if . . start focusing on the fact you got away . . you beat them . . without a wand . . now thats impressive bro . . really" the nurse couldn't prevent a small smile when his brother poked his temple, such a typical brotherly teasing gesture that it was impossible to remain one hundred percent serious. "you know, i'm pretty sure that i was more shocked than they were when i pulled that off," he admitted, conveniently ignoring the whole 'need more self confidence' bit.

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

"i didn't beat them," jasper groaned inwardly and he shook his head. did it always have to come back to this, he'd already gotten seyton onto the right way of thinking about angel and the baby and now did he have to fight him to think the right way on this too. "seyton . . " he said in a half groan. he dragged his hand down his face and he looked at his brother. "they had me. i just somehow managed to prevent myself from passing out." he shook his head and he sat up, ignoring the sudden sharp pain that ebbed down to a dull ache almost straight away. "exactly! . . you stopped yourself . . you fought it . . and then you ran! . . which takes a whole lot more courage than sitting there and fighting a battle you couldn't possibly have won! . . at least now you have a chance to stick it to them the next time you do meet!" he said, he shook his head and shifted so he was sitting closer to him, his hand now resting on seyton's shoulder.

he shook his head slightly and sighed a bit. he hated seeing seyton torn up, it wasn't, well it was, but it wasn't really like him. since he'd known him seyton had been, a positive thinker? when it came to other people that was. it was kinda sad he didn't have the same view of himself. "the time . . fenrir attacked me . . and you got me out" he said, every now and then he still tried to remember it, but he couldn't, he had to go of what seyton had told him. "you beat him then . . right?" . . he had no idea where he was going with this, grasping at straws to try and make sense and to make his brother relax a little and just see that this wasn't a big a deal, it would have been if something bad had come of it, but he was fine, probably a bit scared for life, but he was alive.

"everytime you've gone up against fenrir . . yuo've come out alive . . not many people can say that seyton . . " he said as he patted his brother's shoulder and made to rest back against the bed, a yawn slipping out of his mouth as he covered his face with his hands, dropping them onto his chest he relaxed into the bed a bit, the potions still working their effects and he looked at him, saw him grin from the poke on the head and relaxed a little more. he wasnt really up to giving more of a pep talk tonight, he was still sore, the potions had worked to a degree, but they wore off faster on him, he reckoned it was the wolfishness about him. "you know, i'm pretty sure that i was more shocked than they were when i pulled that off,"

jasper grinned slightly and he shrugged. "yeah well fen's got a habit of underestimating people remember?" he said with a slight grin and he shifted his head against the lumpy pillow. he stretched out, shifting so his back cracked and his limbs relaxed and he settled into the lumpy bed once again and he looked at seyton, his dark eyes settling on his brother's face. "he always seems to underestimate you" he said, shifting again, always hating getting comfortable on these beds, he rubbed his arm slightly, feeling a slight draft from somewhere and he looked at seyton. "got a blanket somewhere?" it was also a tactic, distracted his brother's mind so he focused on something else, usually it worked.