is this the E N D ?! || seyton!

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

jasper sat on top of the astronomy tower, the bottle of fire whiskey in his left hand, his right hand was holding onto the bars that were supposed to be keeping him on the right side of the banister. his left leg was dangling over the side of the ledge, his back was leaning against the cold wall of the block behind him, the coolness was keeping him half sober for now, though the fire whiskey, the bottle half empty already, was going to change that. bringing the bottle to his lips jasper felt the warm liquid burn his throat as he swallowed the mouthfuls of the clear drink. he felt it settle in his stomach, his throat still burning with the taste and he dropped his head back against the wall, his head rolling to the side as he glanced toward the forbidden forest.

he hated that place now, despised it with a passion. it had been the reason for his recent absence. he was now a fully fledge werewolf, the bite mark and all, changes on a full moon, the longing to find a pack now embedded into him, more firmly entwined into his being than it had been before. shaking his head slightly, he downed the last of the fire whiskey, draining the bottle into his mouth and he swallowed it, chucking it back onto the platform of the tower, and grabbing another one, he had a supply of them, figuring he'd need to be really drunk to do what he was planning, he didn't want to be a werewolf, it wasn't fair, he shouldn't have done what he had, but he had no one else to blame, except himself. he glanced up at the half moon, and he held the bottle up, as if to toast it and he took a swig from the new bottle and scanned the grounds of hogwarts again.

he wondered if seyton had gotten his owl by now, he'd sent it before heading up to the tower, and before he was drunk. he's just written a few words onto the parchment, but he knew seyton would know what they meant. 'i'm sorry seyton . . goodbye' the four words, that was all it had taken, the only person he would say it too, he couldn't face him, he knew seyton would stop him, and one look at nikki's face and he knew he wouldn't be able to do it, quick and clean, thats how he wanted it, no fuss and no bells and whistles, no audience, hence why he was sitting here close to midnight, looking down at the courtyard, and he shook his head, taking another mouthful of the liquid again and he swung his leg slightly, leaning back against the wall again, whistling a song slightly to himself.

he figured once the clock struck twelve, thats when he'd let himself fall, just slip off the edge and be gone, people would think it was an accident, a drunken accident, thats what he thought anyway. coughing slightly he gripped the bottle tight, feeling a dizziness in his head as he moved, the whiskey was taking it's effect on him, his fingers and toes were tingling and he couldn't fight the warm sense of happy that was flowing through his body right now, but it didn't matter, he knew what he was doing, or he thought he did anyway. sniffing he put the bottle down on the ledge next to him, shifting closer to the edge he gripped the bar in his right hand slightly, there was nothing to stop him falling now, nothing and no one.

he ran his left hand through his hair, biting his lip and he looked down at the drop again, his head spinning as he did and he groaned softly, feeling his stomach jump as he moved and he shook his head. so now he had to start feeling drunk, he couldn't have waited a few more minutes for the effects to kick in, after all, in a few minutes it wouldn't matter. the thing is jasper was scared, terrified he'd turn out like his father, fenrir, hated by many, loathed by most, worshiped by some, he didn't want to be a follower, he wasn't he couldn't. he touched the scar on the side of his neck, it was visible above his shirt, he hadn't been able to hide it, and he doubted he ever will, though it was worse right now, the bite was only a week old, and he'd been hiding out ever since, hadn't let anyone know where he was, he'd been hiding in the forest till now, till he had decided what to do, and now he was doing it. it was the best thing, or so he thought. lost in his head he bit his lip and shifted toward the edge again, his hand still around the bar, he moved to take his fingers from the rail, closing his eyes he braced himself for what was happening, and then he heard running footsteps behind him, he shook his head slightly, thinking they were just in his imagination. and then he went to let the bar go.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

silence wasn't peaceful. not always. silence left time to think, and thinking wasn't calm. especially not now... jasper's little brother had essentially disappeared into thin air on the day of the full moon, not showing up to the meeting they had been supposed to have after his detention, and of course the nurse's mind instantly went to the worst possible scenario, which wasn't appealing in the least. if fenrir had gotten his bloody hands on sey's little brother and decided that jasper wasn't worth all of the trouble he presented... sey didn't know what he'd do. it was nice to think that he'd kill the bastard, but the nurse really had no idea. it wasn't exactly a scenario that he wanted to envision. jasper was a fighter... he'd show up... sometime... soon... hopefully.

he was bent over his desk in his little office, looking over some of the 'newfangled' potions recently developed for various little illnesses present in the wizarding world. you might get out of school, but you never stopped learning, right? likely, like anything, most of these 'medicine potions' would sink into oblivion and be forgotten in the next few months, but in the off chance that they turned out to be some groundbreaking new medicine, seyton needed to know it, right? it was really hard to focus, though, with so many things on his mind, lately. he had half a mind to just leave the school for a few days, give kingsley a few hours notice only, and go searching for his little brother. no matter what anyone else thought, it was definitely out of character for jasper to disappear without checking in at all with him.

there were no windows in sey's office. he found them distracting- it was far too easy to procrastinate what you need to do by looking out the window or watching the forest beyond. so when he heard a very furious tapping noise it took him a good ten seconds to figure out that it must be coming from the hospital wing window. a normal wizard might not be able to hear the sounds across the entire wing and through two walls, but being a werewolf occasionally had one or two benefits. normally sey would take his time going to the window, but there was an urgency in the owl's tapping that caught his interested and made him rise from his chair, step out of his office, and walk towards the window. the second he saw the owl, though, he ran the small distance to the door, let the creature in, practically tore the paper from his grasp, and hurried back to his office. finally, some sort of indication that jasper was alive... but why send a goddamn letter to him? why not just take the simple walk through the halls to his office to talk face to face? sey sat down in his hair, unfolded the letter, and took a quick glance at the few words scrawled across it.

the fluttering piece of parchment hit the ground at the exact second that the door to seyton’s office slammed shut with enough force to knock a framed picture of his mother to the ground off of the wall behind his desk, shattering the glass and causing ugly crack lines to trace over above elodie’s ever-smiling mouth. the office was left empty, a glass of water on sey’s desk left with the contents quivering from the shake of the door. the nurse was already set off down the hall at a run. not a walk. not a speed-walk. not a sprint. a run. he didn’t give a fuck who might see him or who he might run into. let them think he was out of his mind or whatever they might think, he didn’t have the time to explain and he wasn’t going to stop for anyone.

'i'm sorry'. no explanation. no fucking anything. two words. the meaning was obvious, and sey wasn't going to be an idiot and take the time to send a 'sorry for what?' reply owl. jasper wouldn't send such a vague message unless something was seriously, seriously wrong, which meant that there was no time to waste. but... where the fuck was sey supposed to find him? he hadn't been in classes, he hadn't been seen in the commons area or anywhere around the school. if sey's suspicions were right, though... jasper would want to be somewhere very specific. somewhere tall. a tower. there were only seven in the castle, with two immediately struck off. he had no access to the ravenclaw tower, and the hospital tower was seyton's domain. the gryffindor tower was too populated, and sey knew as well as any student that the clock tower was a favorite date spot for students even at this hour of night, as was the owlery... the divination tower was locked up tight for the night, but... astronomy. sey took a hard right at a corner, dashing down another hallway on a set path. it was a night class, rarely ever locked up. that was where his little brother would be. at least, seyton prayed that was where jasper was, because if he was too late...

it seemed to take a decade for him to burst through the door of the astronomy tower. he instantly looked up, trying to see his brother on the top level of the tower, but couldn't see a damned thing. "jasper!" he hollered, running up the spiralling steps, making no attempt to keep his movements quiet. sure enough, as expected, there his brother was, standing on the wrong side of the rail, eyes closed like he was a second from letting go to the bars and everything on this world. "jasp, you can't do this."

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

jasper kept his eyes closed, hearing the thundering of footsteps behind him, his stance on the edge of the building teetering as the alcohol in his system made his head spin, the footsteps sounded like they were echoing. he shook his head slightly, the grip on the bar slipping as he gripped it tighter, hearing his older brother hollering his name. he swallowed slightly, swallowing down the sick feeling in his stomach too, his gut churning at the thought of what he was about to do and the sudden realization that it could be the end. damn, he left it too late. he shook his head slightly. he didnt want to stay like this, in three weeks, two days, and around about seven hours he would go through the most painful transformation in his life. and it was scaring the shit out of him.

he hears seyton's decloration that he couldnt do this, and he shook his head, his foot slipping off the edge and he gripped the railing, slipping so his butt landed on the edge and he let go of the bar that was holding him there. swaying on the edge he shook his head again, his legs hanging over the side of the astronomy tower, is arms at his side, nothing holding him there, so if he wanted to he could slip off, without a second though, though the first thought was scary, he knew the second though, he wouldnt care, wouldnt be able to stop it, after all, once he was falling there was nothing he could do. he shook his head again for good measuer, trying to find the words to say. he sighed and dropped his head back, the skull of his head making a crack sound as it cracked against the metal, ignorning the pain that was ebbing in the back of his head he reached for another half empty bottle of firewhiskey.

pulling it to his mouth he took a long drink of it, only stopping drinking the liquid when the burn in his throat and stomach grew to strong and he threw the bottle off the tower, not caring if it hit anyone below. " . . he did it s-seyton . . . " he said, his words slurring slightly, his hand moving to the collar of his shirt and he made to pull it down, so the bite was fully visable, the size, the teeth marks over his neck throat and shoulder. jasper shook his head slightly, scratching at the bite that was still healing, he thought it would have been healed by now, but it wasnt quite yet, and he hated it. "she's going to hate me . . everyone's going to hate me . . never get a decent job . . . be in pain every month . . . be at risk of hurting everyone i meet . . . i dont want to kill bambi!" he said drunkenly, his words slurring as he spoke, his body slipped down onto the edge more, closer, his feet dangling a few inches closer to the ground 100 feet below him. werewolves killed anything that crossed their path, whether it be people . . animals . . or anything really. jasper had been brought up to know muggle things . .

and he didnt want to have to eat bambi or bambi's mother. the very thought of it was sickening to him. he shifted slightly, moving to swig at the bottle again and he glanced back at seyton, shaking his head slightly. "you ruined everything! . . . w-why couldnt you just let me fall . . . i-it'd be oover . . . . he's coming back for me s-seyton! . . he saaaid so! . . he . . " jasper lost his train of thought, but the anger and pain flashed through his eyes, even though they were red from drunkeness and his speech was slurred witht he evidence. the bottle that lay around him should tell seyton just how much he had had to drink, not that it mattered, he didnt think a werewolf could die from too much alcohol. he groaned and slipped further, his head now resting back against the bar of the railing and he shook his head slightly.

"i cant do this . . . it . . you saw how bad i am with paaain" he said as he swallowed slightly, his eyes watering as he made to wipe his eyes, not caring if he bawled his eyes out, he was drunk, he was hurt, the bite still hurt, and his body was aching from everything it had been through latley. from being almost beaten to death by his father . . being bitten by it . . spending five days in the forbidden forrest because he hadnt been able to come home . . fighting with creatures in the forrest . . and now this, it was too much for his fifteen year old mind to deal with, and now he knew his mother would despise him too, he could never go home, it's what she hated most about his father, the fact he was a werewolf, and now jasper was one of them. he sniffed loudly and shook his head, nikki would hate him too . . he couldnt think of a reason why she would, but he thought she would, after all, he'd been hardly able to control his temper when he head been a half wolf, now he was a full wolf, what was he going to do. hooking his arm over the railing he turned to face seyton, his eyes swimming as he shook his head. "i have to do this . . . "

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

for some reason it didn’t seem real. sey’s little brother had to have more sense in just the little toe of his body than to do this, let alone his mind and brain and all of him, right? seyton’s mind was just playing a trick on him here. jasper had so much more going on in his life than, well, half-humanity… he couldn’t just throw it all away. he couldn’t let their father win. surely the kid could realize that? surely he could realize that seyton didn’t want to and couldn’t lose him. it would kill the nurse to see his brother fall to the earth below. and yet… even with that possibility, this kind of felt like a dream. like jasper couldn’t be so stupid as to do this. a scenario like this one simply wasn’t possible, it had to be a dream, so the seriousness of it didn’t quite seem to register in the nurse’s mind.

for some reason reality came crashing down as jasper slipped a little, when a little note in the back of seyton’s brain observed the fact that the momentum from a little loose fitting could easily send his little brother crashing to the ground below, that jasper’s judgement was totally impaired by alcohol (smart move, bro.) that this was not a dream, because the chilly winter air was very much present biting at the werewolf’s skin, and that seyton had better do something damn fast if he wanted to make sure he wasn’t the only current greyback male with sense. but… what the fuck could he do? seyton was a nurse, not an auror. any life threatening scenarios he had ever expected to face involved a bad present bite, or a poisoning, or something of the sort. not a conscious idea to injure oneself. other dangers could be fought off with medicines and quick hands. this… not so much. he didn’t know what might set jasper off. he didn’t want to do anything to upset his brother further, but he had to do something, right?

" . . he did it s-seyton . . . " of course seeing bites of all kinds was nothing new to seyton as a nurse, but he still cringed at the sight of the fresh healing scar on the body of someone so close to him. it was so plainly obvious, probably planned purposely by the bastard, aka their father, who’d done it, and there was little that could be done to hide it. the venom that induced lycanthropy prevented bite scars from ever really disappearing. illusion charms might be able to make it a little bit less noticeable, but hardly enough to be worth the effort… "she's going to hate me . . everyone's going to hate me . . never get a decent job . . . be in pain every month . . . be at risk of hurting everyone i meet . . . i dont want to kill bambi!" sey swallowed, entirely unsure of what he should say or do. he doubted jasper wanted to hear the ‘it’ll be okay’ speech that didn’t work 99% of the time in anything but books. he didn’t want to make any promises that turned out false, either… but then what was there left to be able to say? "you don't know any of that, jasper. nikki's been with you knowing what you are, maybe the change from half to full werewolf won't be that much to her. if it is, if she's worth it she won't give a shit if you're human, werewolf, or a frickin' giant. you'll learn to control yourself, and a potion will stop you from endangering wildlife on full moons... the world's adapted to werewolves, jasper. a lot moreso than they were half-a-century ago. you don't have to do this based on paranoias."

"you ruined everything! . . . w-why couldnt you just let me fall . . . i-it'd be oover . . . . he's coming back for me s-seyton! . . he saaaid so! . . he . . " ”well he’s a fucking bastard that should be the one falling to his death, not you,” sey found himself growling, unable to hold on to the self control that might stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. he realized he was shaking, hands in tight fists at his side in anger. it was an extreme case of déjà vu that occurred quite regularly since the little meeting he’d had with fenrir and jasper earlier in the year. the nurse took a deep breath, trying to compose himself and think. ”don’t do it. you mean too much to too many people, jasper. don’t let him ruin your future and everyone else’s lives. you can’t let him win like that.”

"i cant do this . . . it . . you saw how bad i am with paaain" a flimsy excuse for flimsy reasoning. ”i… i’ll give you potions, jasp. they’ll help." lies. well, kind of. the potions would help for more minor injuries, but for such a thing like a moon transformation... well, the difference would be like being trampled by 49 centaurs instead of 50. miniscule. hardly worth mentioning. but, see, that wasn't the type of thing that you wanted to mention to a kid a millisecond from falling to a very messy death. "i'm not going to say it doesn't, well, suck, jasp, because it does, but it's bearable. you can do it, jasp. i know you can."

"i have to do this . . . " he had to? had to? anger flared up in the nurse again, this time not aimed at their parent. stupid little kid... what the hell did he know? sey took a step closer to the rail, eyes narrowed. "fine. take the easy way out. leave everyone else to clean up the literal mess. leave me to explain to echo that bad guys do win, and her big brother wasn't brave enough to take what life threw at him instead of using it to his advantage to grow strong. let me explain to nikki that you didn't even care enough for her to try. that you just gave up and left everyone else to deal with the aftermath alone. that's definitely the best option, isn't it?"

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

"you don't know any of that, jasper. nikki's been with you knowing what you are, maybe the change from half to full werewolf won't be that much to her. if it is, if she's worth it she won't give a shit if you're human, werewolf, or a frickin' giant. you'll learn to control yourself, and a potion will stop you from endangering wildlife on full moons... the world's adapted to werewolves, jasper. a lot more so than they were half-a-century ago. you don't have to do this based on paranoia's." jasper shook his head, his eyes flaming as he turned to glare at his brother. he gripped the bar and put his foot clumsily under him, by some miracle it hit the ledge and he was able to push himself up, still close to the edge, and still swaying from the amount of alcohol he had consumed and he shook his head. "it's not paranoia! . . it's the truth! . . . i don't want to put her through it . . it . . it's not fair on her . . and yes i know life's not fair . . i'm very much aware of that now!"

jasper said as he scratched at the bite on his neck, scowling and shaking his head. "but . . i . . i almost bit her once! . . " jasper said, the thing he'd kept a secret was now out and he shook his head, dropping his head down onto the cool of the bar he stayed like that for a second, letting it ease the throbbing in his head before lifting it to look at his brother, his eyes still blazing with the anger, that was stemming from a hate toward his father, but was being vented on his brother. "well he's not fucking here to fall to his death is he! . . i am though!" jasper said as he glanced down at the drop again, the height seemed to double as he looked at it, closing his eyes he blinked as his vision blurred and he shook his head, hoping to rid his mind and body of all the blurriness and he looked back at his brother again.

" i mean something to all of two people! . . you . . a-and nikki!" it hurt to say her name really, when he was about to do something so horrible, he thought of her and he sniffed, shaking his head again, thinking of her would change his mind, he didn't want to change his mind. "i cant ever go home . . the thing my mother hated most . . was the fact fenrir was a . . a . . wolfy person!" his mind was spinning now, he couldn't get the right words out he wanted to and he bit his lip and moved to put a hand to the side of his head. "he's already ruined my future! . . who's going to look at someone like me and see past what i am now . . . i had a chance before! . . i have no chance . . i'm not like you . . i'm not niiice . . and . . i cant work with potions and blood and . . . whatever else you work with . . " he said, leaning heavily on the railing of the building and he shoo his head, the effects of the firewhisky swimming in his head and his stomach as he glanced up at his older brother, biting his lip he shook his head. "i know potions dont work . . i'm not stupid seyton . . " he said, though he knew his brother would probably beg to differ, he was standing on the tallest ledge in the castle, ready to hurl himself off a building.

"it's bearable . . . i've seen how you struggle with it from time to time . . it . . i cant do that! . . or . . i don't think i can . . it's bad enough now" he knew he sounded like he was whining but he couldn't stop, he didn't see the point of living out his life, even if he loved someone, he didn't see the point of living it if it was going to be miserable, and people were going to look down on him like he should be pushing up daisies. he shook his head, his eyes moving to glance at his brothers face and he swallowed slightly, the taste still i his mouth and he shook his head again, something he did when he was confused, and he was really confused right now, it had all seemed so clear until his brother had come along, and now everything was in the crapper and it was spinning around jaspers' head and he couldn't make it stop.

"it's not the easy way out! . . . t-this . . okay so what if it is!?" jasper snarled at his brother. before he knew what he was doing he hooked his leg over the railing of the ledge and he pulled himself over, tripping as his foot caught he fell to the ground with a thud and a yelp but he stood up straight away, his head throbbing where he'd hit it against the floor, he felt a trickle of blood falling past his eye but he ignored it and looked at his brother. "i dint want the same thing to happen to nikki that happened to angel! . . " he said, not knowing where this was coming from or how his mind had lumped the two together, but it had and he was going with it. jasper shook his head and he heard nikki come out of seyton's mouth and he couldn't stop the fist that aimed at his brother's chin, even though seyton had about 80 pounds on jasper and a good two feet of height he still had the gall to try and hit him. "of course i care! . . that's what i'm doing . . . if he comes back . . he's going to try and stop me seeing her . . . he'll find out . . . and how do you think he's going to stop me seeing her!? . . he'll be teaching her how to push up daisies! . . so i figured if i was pushing them up first she wouldn't have to worry!"

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

"it's not paranoia! . . it's the truth! . . . i don't want to put her through it . . it . . it's not fair on her . . and yes i know life's not fair . . i'm very much aware of that now!" oh how noble. lurching himself off of a tower just so that the girl who was head over heels for him wouldn’t have to suffer. it made total sense, right? or, at least, the kind of sense that only drunken fools could see, the exact reason why seyton, surprisingly enough to some, wasn’t too fond of alcohol. it made you think stupid thoughts and do stupid things. "but . . i . . i almost bit her once! . . " well.. the girl hadn’t disappeared on him, had she? sey sighed, keeping silent. there were really only so many things he could say before it all became repetitive nonsense that jasper would likely just blow off anyway. "well he's not fucking here to fall to his death is he! . . i am though!" oh, but the mental image of fenrir falling to a very messy death from a sickening high was much more appealing… actually the mental image of the same thing happening to his brother tempted seyton to run to the rail and hurl over the edge.

" i mean something to all of two people! . . you . . a-and nikki!" he could almost hear the voice of a very insulted fourteen year old half-werewolf speaking up in protest of what her big brother had just said. what would echo do if she were in this situation? his, he meant. as in seyton’s. god, he didn’t even want to consider her being in jasper’s situation in any way… echo was fine the way she was, relatively normal, peaceful, and fenrir free. ”you know that’s not true, jasp.” "i cant ever go home . . the thing my mother hated most . . was the fact fenrir was a . . a . . wolfy person!" at another time jasper’s drunkenness might be cause for seyton to crack a smile or make some sort of joking comment, but that time was certainly not now. seyton had never liked being born a full werewolf, but he supposed in one way it did have an advantage. it was all he ever knew, he didn’t have to adjust to the change though he had to cope with the challenges much more than a newly changed werewolf. those around him didn’t know him normal. they were forced to love or hate him the way he was, they never had two sides of him to compare himself to. the nurse really hoped that his brother’s mom would find a way to be accepting… she had to realize that jasper was still her son, right? he’d just have… certain aspects of him enhanced. "he's already ruined my future! . . who's going to look at someone like me and see past what i am now . . . i had a chance before! . . i have no chance . . i'm not like you . . i'm not niiice . . and . . i cant work with potions and blood and . . . whatever else you work with . . " ”you have to try!” jesus christ… everything in life wasn’t easy, but sey knew that his brother could have a good life somehow. he just needed to work for it maybe a little bit harder than he would have before. lycanthropy was only a death sentence if you allowed it to be. it only permanently hindered your life if you sat back and let it.

in hindsight, upsetting the already suicidal teenager one inch away from a very gruesome death might not have been the best idea... "it's not the easy way out! . . . t-this . . okay so what if it is!?" before sey could reply, before he could even react, really, his brother was tumbling over the rail to the safe side, and there was no way in hell seyton was going to allow him to head on over again. "i dint want the same thing to happen to nikki that happened to angel! . . " sey blinked, finding this fear of his brother’s one he could actually relate to… but nikki and angel were two separate people, right? fenrir didn’t need to find out about nikki. he hadn’t needed to find about angel, either, that had been seyton’s stupid mistake… as long as jasper and his girlfriend were careful, there was no reason for the young couple to worry. lost in such thoughts, sey wasn’t really paying attention to his brother until he saw a projectile fly out of nowhere and hit him… in the chest. with a soft thump the boy’s fist connected above sey’s heart, the impact making the nurse jerk back slightly but nothing more. drunken hysterical fifteen year olds didn’t pack much of a punch. nevertheless, sey reached forwards to try and grab his brother’s wrist and hold it to avoid a messy punch to his eye, which would probably hurt a bit more. "of course i care! . . that's what i'm doing . . . if he comes back . . he's going to try and stop me seeing her . . . he'll find out . . . and how do you think he's going to stop me seeing her!? . . he'll be teaching her how to push up daisies! . . so i figured if i was pushing them up first she wouldn't have to worry!" ”he’s not going to get his hands on her, jasper. he doesn’t need to know about you two. and even if he somehow does… as long as she’s in the school or on the grounds she should be safe.” of couse, jasper hadn’t been especially safe on the grounds… ”trust me, jasper. nikki’ll be safe.”

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[NIKITA KAYLA WYNTER]

like countless nights before, nikki woke from her dreams and jerked bolt upright, gasping for air, palms clenching the bedsheets by her bed as though they were the only things keeping her alive. she felt terrified, and as always it took a few seconds fo the dream to come back to her in bits and pieces. her parents. their home. fire, flames licking at the ceiling and creeping closer and closer to her mom and dad. somehow nikki was always so sure that she was the only thing that could help them, but her legs wouldn't move and she was forced to stand and watch as their screams joined the crackling fire around them... was it any wonder the girl woke in terror each night?

she couldn't remember the last time she's slept through the night from the moment she first fell asleep to the next morning. had there been one of those days all year? granted, not all of the restless nights were because of a bad dream... sometimes she just had a lot of homework, or wanted to go for a walk or had other things on her mind in general. lately that thing would be her boyfriend, or lack thereof, and to say that nikki was worried sick was an understatement. when she'd gone to see seyton he'd told her he was sure jasper was just away on a family emergency... how old did he think she was? she wasn't a child, and she damn well hoped that before jasper would disappear for something like that, or at least soon into the disappearance, he would send her an owl explaining his absence so that this didn't happen. 'this' being her lovely imagination dreaming up all sorts of horrible scenarios involving her gryffindor boyfriend...

the ravenclaw ran her hand through her hair, looking at a nice, old-fashioned muggle watch on her wrist to note the time. almost midnight... she'd been asleep for all of a half hour, tops, before the nightmares had decided to attack. great. she pulled her legs over the side of her bed and leaned forward, placing her head in her palms. should she even try to fall back asleep right away? she knew from experience it was futile... she wouldn't be able to rest for hours now.

a tapping on the window distracted her. in the day she might not pay much attention to what would surely be an owl to one of her dormmates, but at this hour it peaked her curiosity. she stood and shuffled across the floor, careful to be silent as possible and not wake her dormmates, opened the window, and let the owl fly in. in the darkness of the dorm room it took her a minute to recognize the owl as eagle, jasper's owl, but her moment of joy quickly vanished when she realized the bird brought no letter.

nikki held out her arm and the owl quickly perched there, allowing nikki to reach over with her free hand and stroke the creature. "you miss him too, huh?" she sighed. instead of silence as was expected, however, the owl responded with a soft coo. "shh, everyone's asleep." again there was the coo, louder this time. "you're going to get me in trouble!" there was a beat in which nikki looked at the other girls in her dorm for any sign of movement in case the bird had woken one of them, but didn't get a chance to see any motion before there was a piercing pain in her hand. "ow!" she glared at the bird and the drop of blood on her hand from its sharp beak. "what the hell was that for?" another peck had her hissing in pain again, jerking her arm away as the bird flew off, flying in circles around the roof of the room, cooing softly. "shut up!" nikki insisted again. she'd never seen the bird act like this before... but it continued, its cries growing louder and louder until nikki stood from the edge of her bed to try and shoo it out of the room. instantly the owl flew to the door of the room, making small circles in the air til the came nearer, when it flew down the staircase. beginning to realize that the bird wanted her to follow for some reason, nikki hurried her pace.

through the commons room, through the entrance to the ravenclaw tower, and down halls nikki followed the owl. she was thankful that she did sleep in pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt, it was less embarrassing than a nightgown if someone were to come across her, though the fact that her feet were bare was a bit cold at this time of year. the owl began to fly fast, and nikki found herself breaking into a jog to keep up through the halls and up the stairs until... the astronomy tower?

suddenly doubting the wisdom involved in following a damned bird through the vacant halls of hogwarts at midnight, or just after as it was by now, nikki placed a hand on the handle to the room, turned, and pushed. eagle swooped in to the room ahead of her, soaring up to the top platform while nikki had to take the spiral staircase. shivering at the cool metal of the staircase and the platform against her feet nikki followed it upwards, only now aware of the voices above her, the sources of which she could see when she reached the top of the stairs. all at once she was elated, worried, and extremely confused. "...jasp? where've you been? what's going on?"

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

jasper felt his fist connect with seyton's chest, and was thoroughly disappointed when nothing happened, except his brother shifted back slightly. he felt his brothers hand go around his wrist and stop it trying to him again. jasper shook his head, and he struggled against the hold his brother had on him. "l-let go!" he said, his voice wavering slightly, his eyes wild as he looked at seyton, he'd been through the stages, he'd been angry, he'd been angry at the world . . and now he was bordering on the depressed, the high from the alcohol simmering down, dragging him into a pit as deep and dark as the hole the liquid had burnt in his stomach. he shook his head, and gave one last effort to pull his arm out of his brother's grip. but he couldn't muster the strength.

instead, he did something stronger. he stepped forward, and he slumped against his brother, the tears running freely down his face. if he even remembered this in the moment, he was going to be embarrassed to high hell. but right now, he needed to cry. and after what he'd been through, in the last few weeks, and with what was coming in his life, he, right at this second, thought he was pretty damn entitled to this, he was only a kid. just fifteen. it was too much to ask of a teenager his age, he was just a kid really. he sniffed and shook his head, his hand gripping his brother's arm tightly, not fully aware of his actions yet, the alcohol still had a dimming effect on his mind. but somewhere in his head, had told him to let loose, now was the time to do it, if asked. he'd blame it on the fire whiskey.

he thought of nikki, her face was flashing in his face. all the times they'd spent together, and his thoughts kept shifting. so he simply leaned his head against his brother's arm, hoping that sey would understand the need he had, no know he wasn't alone, and that it would all be okay. jasper pretended not much got to him, he didn't let on when things hurt him, or when people brushed him off, he shook it off and kept pushing through. but there was only so much pushing through he could do, and sometimes it just got to heavy, and this was on his shoulders so heavy, it was almost unbearable. he heard footsteps, and strangely an owl hooting from the railing of the tower and he shook his head slightly. "s-shut the bird up" he muttered, turning his head to see nikki appear at the door.

her voice ran through his head, as sharp as a knife, and as loud as anything. he shook his head slightly, his tear stained face, he ran a hand over, his other hand still gripping seyton's arm, he just couldn't seem to let go of his brother's arm and he swallowed slightly, glancing up at his big brother, the alcohol taking over again. "s-she's there . . i-i'm not s-seeing things?" he said, worried that she was a figment of the fire whiskey's imagination, designed to tease and think he was going crazy. how had she known where they were, he hadn't even told seyton, the damn idiot had found him on his own, though, in all honestly. jasper could say he was glad he'd come. if he hadn't turned up when he did, jasper would be a pancake at the bottom of the quad.

he bit his lip, shifting on his feet slightly as he glanced at nikki. his eyes still slightly dark, he forced his fingers to let go of seyton's arm and he swallowed again, swallowing the feeling of dread in what he was about to tell her, and also swallowing down the contents of his stomach, which had decided to rise in the back of his throat. he stepped forward again, trying to put the words into the right sentence, and the right way around but he couldn't figure out how to do it yet. his head was spinning now, his stomach churning, and he swore every little noise in the room was pounding through his head. he had no idea what was happening. "n-nikki . . i . . u-uh . . . " he said as he bit his lip. and before he could get another word out, it happened again, this time he couldn't swallow it back. his body hunched forward on it's own and he gave in to reflex, not borhting to fight it and he proceeded to throw up, the contents of his stomach spilling onto the stone floor, in front of nikki. he swayed ever so slightly, wiping his mouth with the corner of his sleeve and he groaned softly, his hand moving to his head. "o-ow . . " he said, not used to hangovers, this being his first. there was no way he was going to be able to explain it to her yet. just no way.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

there were a lot of things that jasper was going to struggle to adapt to, now. the main one was obviously the transformations which, thankfully, they had nearly a month to prepare for. but everything else about the change from half werewolf to full, from what the nurse understood, was extremely overwhelming, anyways. he couldn't claim to have the experience of only being tainted, born and bred the way he was, but he knew how powerful his smell, hearing, and eyesight were because of his werewolf genes. from what he understood in most cases, tainted wizards who weren't full werewolf had their senses somewhere between human and werewolf. while it might not be as huge a jump as a human going werewolf, it was still a leap. mind you, if jasper had already been turned since the full moon the venom had likely spread through his entire system and sunk in, so he should be at least slightly adjusted by now... but it'd take longer to get used to the temper, though perhaps easier to learn to control, and then of course there were the transformations... seventeen years of them and seyton wasn't used to those yet.

"l-let go!" the nurse's brother was definitely still just a little kid. of course, alcohol could reduce anyone to the mindset of a five year old, so maybe he shouldn't be quite so quick to judge. he shouldn't blame the kid for acting out, and he knew he couldn't and wouldn't blame him for breaking down. god knew that he had to let his emotions out somehow, right? and sey much preferred his brother slumping against him and crying to let emotions out rather than releasing them through a scream as he plummeted to the earth from the tower. he let go of his brother's wrist, figuring the danger of getting a black eye had disappeared, and dropped his arms to wrap them around his brother's body in a hug, not saying a single word. he was pretty sure jasper should, even if intoxicated, be able to tell how relieved he was that the gryffindor student was actually here to hug instead of splattered on the ground.

"...jasp? where've you been? what's going on?" pulling back a bit from his brother, sey blinked, looking at the dark haired girl standing there. how had she known to come? then he remembered the owl, jasper's from the looks of it, the bird deserved a billion treats once the night was over for its intuition. "s-she's there . . i-i'm not s-seeing things?" he almost laughed at the innocent intoxicated question from his brother's lips. "she's real," he promised with a small nod, saying little else. it wasn't his place to talk right now, interfering with the young couple. he'd be content with silence and watching how jasper handled the situation and whatever he decided to tell her. "n-nikki . . i . . u-uh . . . " finding the words in a situation like this was likely to be nearly impossible to anyone, let alone a drunken fifteen year old. jasper had sey's sympathy, but this was one thing he wouldn't be able to help his little brother with.

he was forced to get involved a moment later, however, when the boy's stomach got the best of him. seyton cringed, moving out of the way of the projectile vomit while staying near his brother incase, you know, he passed out or something like that. he didn't dare look at nikki, expecting to probably see a look of disgust on her face, and hoped that jasper was a bit too distracted to look her way, too. "o-ow . . " placing his hand on his brother's back and another on his shoulder, seyton guided the boy away from the mess, pausing once they were a few steps away to pull out his wand and wave it at the ground with a muttered incantation, causing the mess to disappear. magic was a wonderful thing.

"c'mon, sit down, jasp," he instructed, trying to lead his little brother over to the wall to help keep him upright while sitting. "put your knees between your legs if you feel ill again, kay?" he looked up towards nikki, almost surprised to see her still standing there and not yet bolted away from the scene as some other girls might have done and gave her a small nod of greeting, the least he could do, before looking back to his 'current patient'. "i can get you a potion from the infirmary if you want, to help you feel better. you're still going to feel like shit in the morning, but it'd help for now at least." he hardly thought it would be wise for his brother to talk to nikki while as nauseous and unstable as he was. "i can be there and back in ten minutes, if you want."

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[NIKITA KAYLA WYNTER]

of all the scenes that nikki might have expected to be awaiting her at the end of the bird's little adventure follow along, this was about the last. honestly she hadn't been expecting anything at all. at the very most maybe the bird had been bringing her on a roundabout journey to the owlery where it would point her towards the treats with an expectant look (who said owls weren't smart?) but apparently it was a much more intelligent animal than she gave it credit for because it led her straight to its owner, just the boy nikki had been wanting to see for a fairly long, worrisome time.

her worry seemed to be warranted. why exactly, she wasn't sure, but he was obviously a mess. nikki had never been drunk in her life, but from the look about her boyfriend her best guess would be to say that he was rather intoxicated for some reason or another, but for what reason she could not say. he was not a casual drinker, or else he was very good at hiding the alcoholic side of himself from her on most days. in fact, to nikki's knowledge he'd never been drunk before in his life, so why the hell would he suddenly decide to get himself in this state alone?

it became even clearer how intoxicated he was when the contents of his stomach spilt themselves on the floor in front of nikki's feet, splattering this way and that. the ravenclaw found herself stumbling a few steps backwards, nearly tripping backwards down the stairs (she grabbed the rail and steadied herself) to escape the spray. "oh jasper," she groaned softly, shaking her head as the gryffindor's brother took up the task of clearing the mess with a wave of his wand. she frankly didn't understand a bit of what was going on right now, but expected (and would demand) that she would get answers fairly soon. after all, jasper couldn't just expect her to see him in this sort of a state without looking for a reasoning of why.

still standing near the stairs, she watched in silence as seyton tried to guide her boyfriend towards the wall, telling him to sit down and giving him rather calm instructions. she only moved when the nurse looked her way, giving her a small nod that spurred her to move towards the pair, arms loosely folded as she stood in silence, listening to seyton talk to his little brother, feeling more than a little bit awkward. of course she was glad that jasper was actually okay, if a little bit drunk, but what purpose did the damn bird have for bringing her here to interrupt some sort of brother time?

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background: url(http://i996.photobucket.com/albums/af82/sataraalcaelahn/Tar%20Valon/Flames_from_Fire_Wallpaper_18.jpg); border-radius: 30 30 30 30 px; padding: 10px;] . I set fire to the rain And I threw us into the flames let it burn he couldn't do much else at that second, other than follow his brothers guiding hands to sit against the wall. thought it was more of a far from graceful slump back, then a quick slide till his but was on the floor, the force he hit the floor with made his teeth sit on edge and he nodded, hearing his brothers words but not focusing on them. he'd have agreed to anything that second, especially if what seyton was promising was true, that it would take away the feeling in his stomach, clear his head. though, it wouldn't give him what he really wanted, to be free from the curse he'd so freshly received. he swallowed slightly, lifting his head when he heard nikki and he swallows again, biting his lip as he looked at her, not sure whether the scar was visible in the light they were in or not. fenrir had been nasty, he'd bitten him on a place that unless jasper wore hoods and turtle necks for the rest of his life, which lets face it, wasn't gonna happen, everyone who met him would know what he was. his eyes foxed on hers, his mind remembering everything they'd been through, almost every time they'd been together, since the first time they'd met and he hated to think he could hurt her. he'd almost hurt her once, almost lost her, he'd held her up against a tree and kissed her for crying out loud, and he'd hated himself for that. but now, he wasn't just the son of a monster, a wizard who liked to munch on a rare steak every now and again, wasn't someone who just lost his temper every so often. he wad the monster, the awful monster that people told horror story's about, just the name of what he was was enough to send some people packing. and it angered him, that this had happened to him, happened to his brother, and it had been their father who had done it. a father was supposed to love and protect his kids wasn't he, not turn them into monsters the first chance he'd gotten. he swallowed slightly again, swallowing back the feeling of being ill again, and also of what he had to tell her. he'd been gone, e knew that, for around a week, he'd left without a word and he didn't expect her to forgive him so quick. he bit his lip and he took a breathe, figuring the best thing to do was to do this as quick as he could, after all, he'd had some time to wallow, be angry, and the more the alcohol passed through him, strangely, the clearer things were getting for him. he hoped seyton would be back soon, after all, he was his big brother, and jasper was still scared shit-less, he was going to need the one person he looked up to the most, after all, seyton knew what this was like. he shifted a little, hearing his owl hooting from the corner of the room and he pulled his shirt down, exposing most of the bite on his shoulder and neck. "he bit me nik . . the last full moon" he said softly, his head clearing again, and he it his lip. he watched the owl swoop down and land in front of him, and he reached out to stroke the birds soft feathers. "you knew i needed her . . didn't you" he spoke quietly to the bird as it affectionately nibbled his finger. he had always felt close to the bird, he'd found him when the owl had only been a baby, still not old enough to be out of the nest really, and he' brought him home, and he'd raised him, given it a home, staying up and feeding it. that had been about he time he'd come to hogwarts, and naturally, the owl had come with him. it knew him and he couldn't help but smile slightly. the air from the outside was helping him sober up a little and he looked at nikki. "i'm sorry . . " he said, meaning it, for what he'd done, and for everything he might do. but now, they just had to focus on the now. he shifted his hand to his head as he felt it start to pound again slightly, that part of the hangover was still coming, and he wasn't looking forward to it. words // 000 // tagged // who // outfit // clicky

Table made by Satara of Caution 2.0!

[NIKITA KAYLA WYNTER]

probably sensing no refusal from his little brother, nikki watched as seyton turned and disappeared down the steps without another word at a hurried pace to go get whatever potion he thought would be able to help jasper with his current situation, leaving the couple alone and nikita just as confused as ever. she hesitated, and then sunk down to the ground next to him, a few inches of space left between them, her back against the wall. she instinctively wanted to be closer to him, but found herself uneasy with this entire situation and her lack of knowledge of what was going. the hunger to know what the hell was happening gnawed at her brain, but she kept the questions pushing at her lips silent. looking at jasper it was clear that he wanted to say something, but was tormented by something else and so hesitant to say so.

she watched as he tugged his shirt down, her eyes focusing on the ugly rough scar that covered his pale skin. a small gasp flew out of her lips as she stared at it, it was useless trying to be polite from such a thing and avert her eyes for jasper’s feelings. "he bit me nik . . the last full moon" that simple sentence, if it hadn’t been clear enough by the ugly wound, explained everything. his disappearance, his appearance, the general off way he was behaving because of the alcohol… she couldn’t blame him for turning to the substance to help him cope, completely oblivious to the real reasoning he’d gotten drunk tonight, which was good for jasper now that he’d figured out being alive was better because if she were aware she might push him out of the tower herself for even thinking of doing such a thing. "oh god..." the words were barely louder than her breathing, and she wasn't even aware of speaking them aloud as she looked at the scar. she couldn't begin to imagine how it had felt... the pain, the terror, the situation he would have been in was unfathomable to the ravenclaw girl. "who did this to you?"

jasper turned his attention to the bird, who had certainly been a great aid in getting nikki out of her bed and here to the tower, but nikki was too distracted to really focus on his little conversation with the smart owl. she knew he disliked being half a werewolf enough, he’d let his control slip for one little moment in the forest and had tormented himself because of it. and she had been scared. she hadn’t blamed him for losing control, knowing that it was something he couldn’t help because he was so young, but in those few moments in the forest she had been downright terrified by the change that had come over him. would his control strengthen or lessen with a stronger wolf side of him? she couldn’t see it strengthening, but you never know… she hoped it would strengthen, because she didn’t want to be so scared or worse again.

“what on earth are you sorry for?” she murmured softly, letting her fingers trail along the rough pattern of skin on his neck, her touch as light as a feather. “it’s not your fault… and it doesn’t change a thing.” to prove her point she found herself leaning over, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. she spoke the truth... this wasn't a good thing, but it didn't alter things. not to her, at least. it went without saying that his life would definitely undergo some changes, but she was determined that none of them would involve her. he was still jasper, just… a bit more dangerous. she could deal with that. hey, she still thought that being able to say ‘my boyfriend’s a werewolf’ was a pretty cool opportunity.

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

"who did this to you?" jasper shook his head, his eyes till on the owl as the bird affectionately nibbled his finger, he stroked the birds soft feathers, thinking back to the night it had happened, the memory flashing through his head like a sword and he chewed his lip, his eyes flashing for a second, the anger bubbling up inside him before he took a deep breath and he tried to quell it. okay, it was harder, but for some reason, it also, felt easier, to stop the temper. but still, downright terrifying. he looked up at her, shaking his head. "who e-else . . my father . . " he said as he felt her touch his neck, the touch blissfully cool to what felt like skin on fire. he shifted slightly as she did. he shifted from her touch though, sliding a little from the wall so he was a bit from her and hss twisted so he was looking at her.

he shook his head. "c-cause i am! . . for n-not letting you know i was okay . . for not . . i dunno . . . just for everything!" he said as he dropped his head back against the wall. he shook his head. he had everything to be sorry for. not letting the people who loved him know where he was. he knew they were going to be furious when they found out why he'd put himself in the forrest that night, in that spot, he knew they'd be mad, but it still, he wished he hadnt, he wished he'd somehow managed to escape being bitten. but he hadnt, and his reason for being there hadnt changed, he'd do it again, just, pray for a better outcome. he swallowed as she kissed his cheek, his eyes closing as her lips touched his cheek and he chewd his lip. "i'm s-sorry i lied to you . . "

he shok his head, his eyes looking back at the floor. "i . . i was scared h-he'd somehow . . i dunno . . k-know about you . . and . . i w-was worried he'd c-come after sey . . a-after what happened . . . so . . " he chewed his lip and looked at her. "i knew he'd be in the f-forrest . . i knew he'd smell me . . i . . " he said as he shook his head. "it w-was stupid! . . but . . a-at first i thought i could outrun him . . or fight him . . but . . i couldnt . . so " he said, rambling an stumbling over his words as he tried to make sense of them in his head. he shook his head, he knew it all seemed so stupid now, but at the time he'd thought he was doing the right thing, it had felt like it, but know he knew it hadnt been, he just wasnt calm enough, or okay enough yet to see it wasnt the end of the world, but he knew somewhere in his head that would come with time.

[SEYTON MALCOLM GREYBACK]

the secret side of me, i never let you see__ i keep it caged but i can't control it- -

as sey hurried through the darkened halls of the school, his werewolf eyesight guiding him where the light of the flickering torches could not reach, his mood shifted. at first it had been pure fear and worry driving him. terror that he might be too late, or that when he arrived he wouldn’t be able to help his brother at all. and then there had been relief, almost pure happiness that jasper was okay, at least physically. mentally he was probably a wreck, actually almost certainly a wreck, but changes in that would come with time and relaxation. …he hoped. and now, as he was left alone and given time to think, the adrenaline of rushing to find his brother finally dying down, the werewolf found his hands clenching into tight fists, teeth bared and eyes flashing yellow. he was not angry. angry would imply an emotion that would fade with time, with no action taken. and there would be action taken for this. when, seyton wasn’t sure, but fenrir was going to pay. he’d practically killed sey’s little brother. just a kid. he’d cursed him for the rest of his life, and slept peacefully at night despite it. the bastard was going to pay. even if sey had to learn all of the old man’s tricks, one of which he was already working on already, to even the playing field he’d do it, just so see fenrir’s face when he realized that when he wasn’t facing children he wasn’t unbeatable.

the journey to the hospital wing seemed to much less time than it took to get to the astronomy tower, but sey was still anxious to hurry back to the astronomy tower. so, he figured, why not get some practice in, too? keeping his wand clutched in his pocket he lifted his hand towards the back of the room where all of the potions were stored, and muttered the incantation for the particular potion he needed. there was a distinct draw on his energy, his head felt dizzy, but a happy moment later there was a ‘whizz’ through the air as a small vial of potion zoomed through the air to be caught in his hand at the entrance to the hospital wing. without hesitating, saving the thrill of getting wandless magic to work for him (though it wasn’t supposed to drain his energy as it did, so he knew he still had plenty of work to do) he turned and set off down the hall way again, straight back to the astronomy tower.

he quietly shut the door behind him, not wanting to disturb the conversation jasper and his girlfriend were probably having. he didn’t know exactly how much his little brother would say, but if nikki pressured enough he’d have a lot of explaining to do about, well, everything to do with their messed up family. seyton held on to his belief that the girl needed to know what sort of a mess she was associating with before the entire thing blew up in her and jasper’s faces.

he could hear hushed voices above him, but tried to ignore them. he could easily listen in on their conversation if he desired to, after all his hearing was one of his wolfish traits, but the couple deserved their privacy. that was, until he heard jasper's voice, and caught a few words of what he was saying. "... scared h-he'd somehow . . k-know about you . . worried he'd c-come after sey . . a-after what happened . . . so . . " sey's eyes flashed yellow again, staying that way as he made his way up the steps, this time intentionally eavesdropping. "i knew he'd be in the f-forrest . . i knew he'd smell me . . i . . " he said as he shook his head. "it w-was stupid! . . but . . a-at first i thought i could outrun him . . or fight him . . but . . i couldnt . . so "

the nurse came to the top of the steps and the tower where he saw jasper and nikki against the wall beside each other. jaw tense, he walked over to jasper on the opposite side of nikki, handing over the vial, practically shoving it at him. his body posture reflect exactly what he thought of jasper's stupidity, his eyes dark with anger, but he kept his voice under control as he looked to nikki. "essentially your boyfriend thinks he's a bloody martyr." okay, so he'd failed in keeping his voice under control... it came out an angry growl instead, his eyes still yellow. he nodded his head sharply to the vial. "drink. it'll clear your head 'til morning."

TEMPLATE BY VIKA OF CAUTION.

[NIKITA KAYLA WYNTER]

nikki didn't know what to think. fifteen years ago she'd been a normal happy baby girl with loving parents and a muggle mind. five years ago she'd been a less happy orphan with loving adoptive parents and a muggle mind. a year ago, teenage wizard. a month ago, teenage wizard with a half-werewolf boyfriend. no, a teenage wizard with a full werewolf boyfriend... apparently the rate of changes in her life was apparently rapidly escalating. what the hell was schedule to switch around in her life next?

"who e-else . . my father . . " "fenrir..." nikki muttered softly, more to herself than to jasper. he didn't speak much of his father... all she knew was what the textbooks told her, and they didn't paint the greyback as the nicest man alive. but then... he had kids at the school. lots of them, and it seemed that many of them had decent relationships with their parents... it didn't make any sense. as far as she knew jasper had never even met his dad. he never spoke of him to indicate otherwise... all he talked about was his mom. so why would fenrir have the sudden 'interest' in jasper to do this to him? "you're his son... why would he do that to you?"

"c-cause i am! . . for n-not letting you know i was okay . . for not . . i dunno . . . just for everything!" the ravenclaw shook her head, a small frown on her lips. he wasn't thinking straight... the one thing he named was perfectly understandable. he'd had other things on his mind, clearly, than letting her know that there was no need to worry. and even if he had, that was a lie... she did need to worry about him. he looked miserable, he acted miserable, and that worried her as much as the ugly scar that now decorated the gryffindor's neck. "i'm s-sorry i lied to you . . " her frown deepened, eyes narrowing slightly as she searched her brain for what on earth he was talking about. "what do you mean?" she finally questioned after coming up blank. "you haven't lied."

"i . . i was scared h-he'd somehow . . i dunno . . k-know about you . . and . . i w-was worried he'd c-come after sey . . a-after what happened . . . so . . " she felt like she was the drunk one. her thoughts weren't connecting in her confusion, nothing was making any sense. "jasper... slow down. i- i don't understand what you're talking about. what about seyton? why would it matter if your dad knows about me or not?" she felt like she only had half of the needed information to understand this, or quite possibly less than half, and it was frustrating. "i knew he'd be in the f-forrest . . i knew he'd smell me . . i . . . it w-was stupid! . . but . . a-at first i thought i could outrun him . . or fight him . . but . . i couldnt . . so " before she could respond she heard seyton's voice again, and looked away from jasper to see the nurse standing over them, visibly angry with the glowing yellow eyes that jasper got whenever his wolf got a bit too strong. she instinctively moved backwards a little bit, away from both sey and jasper. "one of you needs to explain. everything. preferably jasper."

[JASPER ROCKE GREYBACK]

"essentially your boyfriend thinks he's a bloody martyr." jasper frowned and shook his head. no he'd been trying to help his famiy, he hadnt wanted this. it, his head decided at that moment to spin again and he swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat as he took the potion sey had shoved into his hand. "s-sey it wasnt like that . . i didnt do anything you wouldnt to do see me or anyone you love safe!" he half snarled it at him, ripping the cork out of the bottle he downed the potion, his shifted, hunching forward as the liquid hit his insides and made him flinch. he shook his head and looked up at his brother, he potion already working it's magic. he pushed himself to his feet, the color coming back into his face at least for now and he stepped toward seyton. he heard nikki and shook his had.

"when seyton told you i was sick . . for those few weeks . . or he'd told you i'd gone home i dunno . . i was in the hospital wing in a coma because my father thought it would be fun to beat the living daylights out of me with a tree and hen drag me off and bite me then!" he has no idea why he was suddenly angry, but he couldnt force the anger down, it was much much harder to control and the more he spoke the more his eyes got darker. he turned his eyes to glare at seyton, half because he didnt want nikki to see the blaze behind them and half because he was angry at his brother for being angry at him. "and the reasoni didnt tell you was because i know for a fact fenrir will come after you because your not pureblood . . he's purist ya know" he said as he ran his hands through his hair, his hands shaking he pulled them into fists, gritted his teeth against the anger that felt like bile rising in him.

"i thought that if . . he found out he'd come for you on a full moon . . and because seyton had foiled his plan of turning me last time i thought he might be in the firing line too . . i wanted to repay the favor . . " he shook his head and he swallowed slightly. he shook his head. "so i lured fen into the forrest thinking i'd be able to get away!" he wasnt going to tell them he'd actually let fenrir bite him, because running had become to hard. and he knew he wouldnt be able to. "but he got the better of me . . " he snarled, his lips pulling back over his teeth slightly. he moved, away from seyton and away from nikki and he leaned his hand on the wall, his hand in a fist again, his whole body now shaking with a rage he now understood was aimed at his father, and himself. "and now . . i'm a monster . . and . . " he looked at nikki. he didnt want her to go, and the pain in his voice was eident as he half choked out the words. the potion had gotten rid of the nasuea and the head swimming, but it couldnt stop this feeling. "a-and if you cant handle that . . i suggest you leave me now . . cause this . . i-it's never going to go away . . i'll a-always be this . . " he said as he slumped against the wall, slide down it and turned away from them. the rage had left him, now he was just, he didnt know how to explain it.