remember who you are - - ALBUS < 3

[THERESA JAY KELSEY]

theresa kelsey sighed as she hesitated at the dorm room, knowing exactly what it was that had her pausing. she couldn't believe that she..theresa kelsey .. was hesitating about anything. usually you couldn't find a more decisive young woman... but alas, this is what had become of her, ever since those gorgeous lips had touched her own. no! she couldn't think about him that way...she shouldn't, it was only going to hurt her.

ah and there it was, the reason she was hesitating. she was worried that she was going to run into him. theia sighed and lent her head back against the wall for a moment, eyes caught by the glass pane of the window beside her bed. she couldn't believe she was avoiding her best friend like this...but she was. she'd been avoiding scorp too, which hurt just as much but she thought it for the better. she missed his banter and quick wit, but she couldn't hang out with him without albus being around...and she couldn't seem to face al right now.

maybe it was stupid... after all she'd been the one to run, shouldn't he had reason to avoid her? she knew she'd hurt him..but wasn't it better now than in the long run.. better for him now so he could get over her before anything too serious happened and then she hurt him. because she knew she would, she didn't know how to be that girl that albus had danced with, kissed ... that wasn't really her, she couldn't be that girl. she wasn't anything he deserved. sighing, she shook her head at herself and opened the door, ducking her head to try and hide her face behind the curls as she hurried through the slytherin common room, not sure if he was there and not wishing to run into him.

theia was different.. she used to be all about attention, it was what she lived for...but with her trying to avoid albus it made it hard for her to have any center stage time. it made her sound self centered but she hadn't meant to be like this in life, if her parents had shown her more love in life maybe she would've been the girl albus had met at the ball. theia sighed and shook her head, forcing herself to stop evaluating who she was as she headed out to the courtyard, a place she never normally went and therefore hopefully albus wouldn't run into her here.

she ignored the benches in favour of one the cold stone wall archways that boarded the courtyard like glassless windows. she perched herself on one, legs swinging slightly as she sighed and looked across the rather dull, wintry deserted courtyard. she missed having company but for some reason she'd shunned most of the people she hung with besides albus and scorp... makenna and everyone..the only person she'd really been with was xander and well ... they had a thing going on. she wasn't sure what to make of it, they were trying more than friends, they'd have benefits over the years and they'd felt they'd owed it to themselves. she was still cut up over al and she knew by being with xander she wasn't helping anything but she knew that her and xander wouldn't hurt each other, that they'd end it after a while because it wouldn't work and go back to being good friends, and she wouldn't hurt him. albus was different... so much different, and he deserved better than to fall in love with someone like her.

[ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER]

Ever since the Masquerade Ball Albus couldn’t get his mind off of one certain girl. That girl happened to be his best friend as well, his best friend that he had kissed not only once, but twice at the Masquerade Ball. He had realized that all along he had feeling for Theresa, why he hadn’t noticed it before they had kissed, he didn’t know. And to put it on top of things, they were wearing masks, so they didn’t even know who it was they were kissing until the masks came off. And then Theia ran. That was the one part he just didn’t understand at all. He knew she was feeling the same thing he was, the electricity between the two of them as they kissed, as if there were sparks flying all over. But instead of showing Al that she came to the realization as well, she ran and Albus wasn’t quick enough to stop her.

So now here Albus was sulking as some would call it. But really the only way he could really think about things were to either go for a walk outside or to go out and fly, but he just didn’t want to tread all the way down to the broomshed to get out his broom. So instead he chose to walk around the Hogwarts Castle.

He had his wool black trench coat wrapped around him and his Slytherin scarf wrapped around his neck. The way the cold air nipped at him reminded him that Winter wasn’t too far off. Even though winter wasn’t exactly the best for flying, he still enjoyed it quite a bit. Call it being childish, not that Al would care, he loved to play in the snow. But now wasn’t the time for Al to think about the snow, now was the time to figure out why Theia ran.

And as if saying her named caused her to pop up out of nowhere he noticed the familiar chocolate brown locks that belonged to Theia. She was sitting in the courtyard, was this where she had been going to avoid both him and Scorp? He remembered Scorp mentioning that Theia was avoiding him as well and of course he blames Al, told him he needed to fix things. Well Al felt the only way he could fix things was to explain to Theia that he wanted her and get her to realize that she wanted him as well.

Slowly and quietly Albus made his way towards the courtyard, he didn’t want her to hear him and then run off without being able to even get in one word to her. But he was quiet successful when it came to walking up quietly on someone and in no time at all he was standing right in front of her, his emerald eyes looking at her as he ran his hand through his jet black hair, messing it up like he always did. “So this is where you’ve been hiding out. I’ve been looking all over for you,

[/color]” he said lightly, hoping that she wouldn’t just bolt instead of talking to him.
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[THERESA JAY KELSEY]

she hadn't really been expected anyone to come up and try to talk to her. she'd made sure she'd left everyone behind, without a clue as to where she was and seeing as she didn't come here often she didn't think they'd try looking either. she never really bothered with the courtyard, there was nothing interesting about it after all, and it was always usually pretty cold unless it was a hot day - and considering it was winter, it was by no means a hot day. she'd left her other lot of friends in the common room, the one's who appeared to answer her beck and call...who seemed to admire her and want to follow her around like she was queen bee - which she used to like, it made her feel good but..now for some reason..it made her feel fake.. cheap.

she couldn't help but wonder if that was albus' doing - not on purpose but...by seeming to fall for a girl she could've been..suddenly she didn't feel quite so proud of herself anymore. suddenly, all those things she'd down over the years to make 'mummy and daddy' proud made her feel ..worthless, stupid...cheap. she brought sighed and wrapped her arms around herself, partly because of her thoughts and partly because it was cold. she wished there was someone she could talk to - theia, who hated talking to anyone about feelings, actually wanted someone to talk to ...and the two people she thought she really could open up to..she was avoiding.

scorp would probably be a bit ..'why are you opening up to me' considering most of their friendship was based on playful insults..and he'd probably tell her to suck it up and just tell albus she liked him back and why she'd run away already..but she didn't want to hear that. she could hardly talk to albus about this - that was the whole point. she certainly couldn't talk to xander either..she was with him..how would he feel if she'd said all she could think about was another guy's pair of lips. it wasn't his fault, xander was a good guy, always been a good friend but she knew that even that would hurt him...man she felt awful enough even though she hadn't been with him when she'd kissed albus...and that just made her feel worse because she'd kissed al and now she was kissing another guy!? what was wrong with her. part of her knew she was doing it to push albus away, and to push herself away from albus but she didn't want to say it outloud.

so lost in her thoughts was theia that she didn't hear him approach, didn't even know he was there until - “So this is where you’ve been hiding out. I’ve been looking all over for you,” she jumped a mile, so violently she almost fell off the wall and she quickly had to grip the edge to keep herself on it and not fall undignified, embarrassingly into the dirt. " jeeeesus scare the crap out of me why don't you.." for a second her usual demenour showed through as she put a hand to her pounding heart...and then she looked up into the face of the boy she was falling for and she lost it all... lost her usual self. her heart continued to pound even though she'd gotten over the scare and she tried as hard as she could not to look at his lips after catching herself glance toward them and her cheeks flame slightly. "i havn't been hiding..." she muttered, ducking her head to study her hands that were back in her lap, figiting uncomfortably and biting her lower lip. such a lie..she'd spent more time here than ever before in her previous years than this past week. she couldn't bring herself to look at him, for which she felt ashamed at herself. she even considered walking off but that would be down right rude and..well..she'd have to get past him first and if he grabbed her she might just melt.

[ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER]

Albus should’ve realized that sneaking up behind Theia would cause her to jump, after all she didn’t know he was sneaking up behind her. His natural reaction, he reached his hand out and took ahold of her arm, helping her stay up so that she didn’t fall over. And then there was that feeling again, not as strong as when they kissed, but it was still there. “jeeeesus scare the crap out of me why don't you..” Once he saw that she had regained her balance he had loosened his grip, but his hand still lingered there. Maybe he was afraid that if he didn’t hold onto her she’d run off just like she had at the ball. “ I haven't been hiding...” he noticed her fidgeting the way she got when she was trying to cover up the truth. AL knew she had been hiding, even Scorp said he only saw her in class now never outside of it. Al tilted his hand slightly to the left as if studying her as a light wind picked up, making his messy jet black hair look even messier with the slight movement of the wind. His deep emerald eyes, the ones he inherited from his father, studied her every movement as if trying to predict when she would try to make a break for it.

“Well I haven’t seen you around lately, and neither has Scorp, so you must be hiding cause usually you’re easy to find,

[/color]” he said softly. Of course she was usually easy to find, because usually she was either with Scorp and Al, or she had her little gang of “followers” following her. But it seemed like even her followers were missing from the picture. Why was Theia trying to run from the truth? He didn’t understand her at all this time and usually he did. He knew how hard she had it at home, but weren’t friends here to help make them better? Well he wanted to, he wanted to so bad that he’d be there for her whenever she needed him even if it killed him. But perhaps she didn’t want it, but why wouldn’t she want it. “About the ball…[/color]” he started before looking up at her, seeing what kind of reaction she gave him before he continued.
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[THERESA JAY KELSEY]

he did it...he gripped her arm. like when they'd kissed, sparks shot along the entire length of her arm - though not as powerful as with the kiss, but powerful enough. she gave a quiet gasp and made to try and yank her arm free of his hand, shooting a frown at him - anything to stop him from touching her again. she couldn't handle it, those feelings, she shouldn't let them take control, let them think that maybe...they could be together and she wouldn't mess up his life. but as soon as the contact was gone she could relax again - at least a little. she knew it would hurt him for her to have wrenched her arm away like that but at least that might make him take a step away from her...to push him away like she knew she was trying to.

she could feel his eyes on her but she couldn't look up. if she met those vivid emerald eyes she might just cave. she couldn't believe now that she hadn't recognised him at the ball; but the lights, the atmosphere, the clothes, the kisses..they'd blown her away, caused her to forget this ordinary world entirely...until midnight had struck and brought with it the sight of whom she'd kissed. she knew she'd hurt him then too - by walking away - but it was better then than later right? when she dissapointed him or ... or turned out not to be what he wanted...or whatever it was that she thought was going to happen. “Well I haven’t seen you around lately, and neither has Scorp, so you must be hiding cause usually you’re easy to find,” she did look up then, her chocolate gaze going to meet his, and she tried so hard to hide even now, behind a mask. a blank, emotionless expression before she couldn't look at his handsome face any longer without wanting to cave, and so she turned her face away to look at the courtyard, feigning bordem in him being there.

"so i decided a change of scene would do me good, not that its any of your buisness." she said, her tone cold..anything to get him to walk away, to find some other girl to be interested in. he didn't want her, not really, no matter what he was feeling. “About the ball…” theia's facade flickered, almost loosing it entirely as he brought up the subject of the ball..that one subject she hadn't wanted to talk about - the one she'd been running away from. she hesitated and swallowed, quickly making a decision before turning back to look at him, her gaze distant, expression as emotionless as she could make it no matter the hurt at what she was doing to him and herself. "there's nothing to talk about," she said with a shrug, before going to look away once more and forcing a fake sigh of mock irritation. she knew she'd pay for this dearly with heavy guilt, lack of apetite and lack of a good sleep for a few days..but she had to do it.. for his own good.

[ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER]

“ so i decided a change of scene would do me good, not that its any of your buisness.” Albus raised a brow at her, for some reason he had a feeling that she was just hiding the real truth. But he knew better than to press on why she was telling a bit of lie. And then there was her tone, maybe he didn’t have a chance at all with her, why was she being so cold towards him? He just didn’t understand. They really needed to make a class for guys to attend to learn how girls think. He knew that half of the time when it came to girls, they usually meant something else from what they actually said. “there's nothing to talk about,” Albus let go of her. Was this really how she was going to be? Perhaps Scorp was right, he really did fuck up big time didn’t he?

He sighed softly sitting down next to her taking in his thoughts for a moment. “I guess I feel there’s something to talk about, perhaps you’re just avoiding it for some reason I apparently can’t seem to figure out,

[/color]” he said lightly. He didn’t want to come off mean, but it was the truth. He really couldn’t figure anything about the situation, and honestly talking to Scorpius didn’t help a whole heck of a lot. Perhaps talking to his sister would be the better soulution, she seemed to come off with better advice on girls that Scorp did at times. “And I’m not going to move from here until we figure this out,[/color]” he promised her, yet as those words came out of his mouth they sounded a lot stupider than they did in his head.

( Sorry about the wait... and the crappy post... just lately I've feeling sick and it's just not helping with my muse... )[/b]
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[THERESA JAY KELSEY]

she heard him sigh and she bit her lip to avoid doing the same thing, keeping her head turned away. “I guess I feel there’s something to talk about, perhaps you’re just avoiding it for some reason I apparently can’t seem to figure out,” she frowned lightly and shook her head, detirmined not to look at him right now, staring out over the courtyard. why did this have to happen? she didn't want to hurt albus, she wanted to be with him.. she really did... but she didn't want to hurt him - she didn't want to screw him over. even though she felt more for him than she had for any other guy.. ever.. she just couldn't think that maybe she wouldn't mess him up somehow. even if he didn't realise it .. this would be for his own good.

as he sat down she shifted over, not wanting to touch him, she couldn't feel that electricity again or she might give in. theia had always been stubborn, but nothing had made her feel weak at the knees like the feeling of when albus kissed her - even touched her...and she didn't think she could keep pushing him away if he kept touching her. “And I’m not going to move from here until we figure this out,” she sighed and let her head fall back against the solid of the pillar at her back, cold through her robes. she shook her head and frowned, turning her head to look at him. "will you just leave it already?! this is for your own good albus! why can't you leave it?!" she burst out, swallowing and turning her head away. she'd want to say 'i don't want you' or something like that but.. she couldn't. she'd already hurt him and she couldn't do it. she couldn't hurt albus potter. she... loved him....and she couldn't hurt someone she loved.

ooc , urgh sorry its shitty.

[ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER]

“will you just leave it already?! this is for your own good albus! why can't you leave it?!” For a moment Albus just stood there looking at her, her soft deep brown curls, the way the fell along her face and her deep brown eyes. In truth he didn’t want to leave it, he wanted her. He wanted to take her up in his arms so badly and kiss her again, but he knew it would only cause her to become angry. Why did girls have to be so difficult at times? He really wish he could just make her see the truth, yet part of him knew that she knew the truth down deep inside of her, but for some reason she kept on pushing it away.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the words he wanted to say didn’t come out. He felt like a bit of an idiot standing there, starting at Theia and was honestly surprised that no one was watching the two of them. “Well then if that’s what you want then I’ll leave,

[/color]” he said softly before turning away from Theai. “Perhaps one day you’ll realize that you don’t need to hide,” he whispered softly before walking off, doing his best not to look back. He knew that it was the only option he had at the moment, maybe next time he could get through to her. He just needed to think a bit more on what he should say to her to make her realize the truth. He didn’t want to lose Theia after all and he only longed to be with her.

( Sorry about the wait.. and a kinda short post... >.< )
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