Checking In [Lily]

[FRED ARTHUR WEASLEY]

Lils,

Nuh-uh-uh, Lily. No avoiding it, this time. I’ll be watching you read this letter from across the room, and you can’t create excuses for brushing off my concern this time. I’m in no rush to get a response, but you don’t have an excuse to not reply eventually. This isn’t a conversation you can push away with a ‘I have homework to do’, ya know? Besides, you can’t ignore your own owl. Yep, I did steal Athena just to give you no excuse not to read this. You can punch me later.

Anyways, Lily, what’s up? You haven’t been quite the same since the beginning of the year, and you’re a fool if you think you can fool everyone… You look like you need to get something off of your chest, and you know I’m here for you, so what better time to speak your mind than now? You don’t even have to talk to me, if you don’t want to. There’s risk of you being overheard. I’m fine with letters.

Lotsa family love,
Fred 'The Afro' Weasley

[LILY LUNA POTTER]

Freddie,

I hope you know that your penmanship is absolutely appalling. Isn't writing neatly one of the first things you'd taught? I don't understand how teachers can mark your assignments if they can't even read it... luckily for you I love you, so I pushed through the terrible scribbles to get to the root of your message.

Even after you warn me that you'll be watching me, you play innocent and look away when I look at you? Yeah, I see you sitting over there by the fire... you know you were wrong. I could just crumple this into the flames and forget you ever sent it... but I won't.

I just I don't know what you're so worried about. I admit that I haven't been myself this year, but that's just cause of OWLs and everything. I guess I'm stressing about my grades, and it's making me act a little bit off. Thanks for your concern, cuz, but there's really nothing to worry about. I just need to relax... maybe winter break will let me do that, when I have some time away from the school and classes, and for the last half of the year I'm sure I'll be the perky little cousin you know and love to prank every single day. Again, thanks for your concern, but it's not really warranted. I'm fine. I promise.

Love you,
Lily

[FRED ARTHUR WEASLEY]

Lils,

Meh, it mighta been, but odds were that even in those days I was skipping class to set up a prank... you know in my first year I managed to lock the caretaker in his office for three hours? Some of the devices my dad has at his store are pure genius, I tell you. That glue could keep anything locked... but I guess that's a story for another day.

Do you know what a terrible older cousin I'd be if I bought those lies? Family worries about family, Lils. Sorry, but that’s just how it is. And when you’ve been ‘cursed’ with a family as big as we have, you’ve got a hell of a lot of people there to worry about you. Besides, you’re one of the babies of the family. I have to have my eye on you, and you’re not that good at hiding when you’re upset, even if you think you are. Well, maybe you're a bit of a good actress (all little sisters are, it's how they get their big brothers into so much trouble and act all innocent and cutesy themselves) and able to fool other people, but you can't trick family. I've watched you grow up, so I know how you hide when you're upset and you've definitely been upset since September... it doesn't have anything to do with a certain guy we both know by the initials of J.S.P., does it?

Lotsa family love,
Fred 'The Afro' Weasley

[LILY LUNA POTTER]

Freddie,

You glued the caretaker's door shut? How in the world did you manage that? I mean, one of the teachers had to be able to remove it with a spell, right? Uncle George is good, but he couldn't come up with something that took that long to fix... I'm sure you're exaggerating. More likely he was out in two minutes and you got three hours of detention.

Again, I don't know what you're talking about. Have you been getting enough sleep lately, Fred? You might want to stop prowling the secret passageways at night and actually get some shut eye at night, because I think your exhaustion might be affecting your observation abilities. There's nothing wrong with me, and the little that's going on in my life and making me stressed has absolutely nothing to do with the so-called 'J.S.P.'

Love you,
Lily

[FRED ARTHUR WEASLEY]

Lils,

I swear it's no exaggeration! I'm completely honest- why would you think I'd lie to you? You know how creative the things in the shop are. Have you ever taken the time to look through all of the merchandise? Spells and potions of my Dad's work are hard to counter when the teachers don't know what they're dealing with. The potions professor had to brew a potion to melt the glue off of the door to get the caretaker out, and that took a while.

Lily, I understand if you really just want to stay quiet, but I don't think you do and I hate seeing you look so tormented, especially when he's around. You don't think I was watching at the end of the last Quidditch game? Seems to me like there was more than simple competitive nature going on there when you stormed off the field, glaring at him as you went. You can't keep everything bottled inside forever, Lils. It's just all going to explode at the worst possible moment, and that would be absolutely no fun for anyone involved. Do yourself a favor and get it out now so that maybe you can tell what's really going on later to the one person that it really concerns. I swear I won't tell anyone; you can trust me.

Lotsa family love,
Fred 'The Afro' Weasley

[LILY LUNA POTTER]

Freddie,

Isn't that potentially really dangerous? What if a kid ate it, or something? It could do serious damage. I love Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, but I'm kind of surprised that there have been no accidents concerning its products.

You saw that? I thought I'd been good at hiding it... whatever. It doesn't matter, Fred, really. My issues are my own issues, and they have to blow over sooner or later. I just... I don't think it's fair, okay? And that's all I'm going to say about it, because I don't want to torment myself thinking about it any more than I want to bring it up to him when he hasn't consciously done anything wrong.

Love you,
Lily

[FRED ARTHUR WEASLEY]

Lils,

The glue dissolves on contact with saliva. I don't even know if Dad sells it any more, but it was a pretty cool thing when I was a first year. Anyways, you know that all things sold at the shop are safe. They're made for fun, not danger. ...Is it weird to you, too, that we're having this conversation at the same time as a more serious topic is going on?

You're right, Lily. It's not fair, but you're also right that it's probably not going on through any conscious action on James' part. You're stuck in some pretty big shadows there, first through your father for obvious reasons, then your mom who did so much as well when she was younger, and now both of your siblings, especially James, are making names for themselves through various things at the school... you're stuck in the background. At least, that's what it must feel like. I understand. But you don't give yourself enough credit, Lily. You've done some pretty awesome things through the years, too. Look at you. You're in the fifth year and a keeper on your Quidditch team against lots of other good Gryffindor candidates. You're so good that there's a seventh year playing back up for you. You're the head of the school newspaper, again only in your fifth year. You're a good student and confident and, no I'm not just family biased, probably one of the most beautiful girls around. ...Okay, maybe I am family biased, but the point still stands. You're not just a bug under James' shoe, Lily. You've got to give yourself more credit.

Lotsa family love,
Fred 'The Afro' Weasley

[LILY LUNA POTTER]

Freddie,

Yeah, it definitely does... we can go back to the shop later.

The thing is, I'm not James! That that I do doesn't get the glory. The keeper is the pawn in Quidditch. I'm just a place holder. With the chasers and the beaters there's practically no need for me, anyway. The seekers, aka my esteemed brothers, get all of the glory. They're the ones who make or break a quidditch game at our level. They're the ones whose name the crowd chants and who dad or mom can see themselves in when they watch a game. I just sit in the background smiling pretty and try to act important when the truth is that I'm not at all. And then there's this stupid tournament... I thought it'd be my chance to finally prove myself; to show that I'm just as good as my brothers or my parents, but again I've been shoved to the sidelines to cheer. Even worse I didn't get in but perfect James did, and I'm forced to cheer for him! I just want it to be recognized that I'm worth something, too. I'm capable of just as much as they are, and I want the chance to prove myself, but as long as James is around apparently I'm not going to get it, because he always steals those opportunities out from under me.

Love you,
Lily

[FRED ARTHUR WEASLEY]

Lils,

Your parents don’t love you over James, or he over you, or Albus over either of you. They’re parents. They love you all the same, and I’m sure that they’re overflowing with pride at everything you do, whether it’s making an easy save in Quidditch or winning a tournament. I highly doubt that they compare you to each other, saying ‘Lily’s better at this’ or ‘James owns at that’ because they’re your parents. If they don’t compare you to your siblings, you have to stop that, too. You are not James. You are not Albus. You are not Harry. You are Lily, and you need to be no one but Lily. You're going to drive yourself nuts, or rather you already have, if you continuously play the comparison game. You cannot be James as much as he cannot be Lily. Yeah, he has got opportunities that you haven't gotten yet, but he's two years older than you. He has more experience, and has had more years to earn what he has. In two years time, if you'd been in seventh year when there was a house tournament, there's a higher likelihood that your name would have been picked over hers, but unfortunately you were not in the seventh year this year. Don't stress about it, Lily. I don't want to see you and James fall apart because of this.

Lotsa family love,
Fred 'The Afro' Weasley

[LILY LUNA POTTER]

Freddie,

Fall apart? Ha! Like we were ever 'together'. James spends all of his time taunting and fighting with Albus, and vice versa. I doubt either of them remember my existence most of the time. Like I said: background character. I'm just a placeholder for people to think of when it's convenient, and it's never convenient with so much more important people around to consider.

I just want to be able to prove myself without James always getting the spotlight in the first place. He gets all of these things because he's the great Harry Potter's firstborn son, because he's a male. I'm just Harry's little daughter, or better yet Ginny's daughter because like genders are always grouped together. No wonder the fucking cup wouldn't choose me; I'm no one. Harry Potter's daughter doesn't have as big an impact as Harry Potter's son. It's all a damn publicity game.

Love you,
Lily

[FRED ARTHUR WEASLEY]

Lils,

Okay. Take a few deep breaths, and calm down. You know that you're just talking off of fears and paranoia, right? I didn't realize you felt like this... you're always so smiley and bubbly. That's who you are. You're not the house hero, or the natural born champion, or the amazing seeker. That might sound mean, but you know it's not intended to be.

I think that you need to talk to your brother. Maybe both of them. Sure, James is the one this issue seems to be rooted with, but it could easily shift to Albus, too... venting can only do so much to relax you. I'm glad to listen to you whenever you need to rant a bit, but your issues don't lie with me and they'll keep festering unless you talk to the people they concern.

Lotsa family love,
Fred 'The Afro' Weasley

[LILY LUNA POTTER]

Freddie,

I can't talk to them, Fred. How the hell would they ever understand? James is the firstborn, he's never had to stand in the shadow of someone else because he's always been in the spotlight; the glorified son. Albus found his popularity when he went to Slytherin by being the first Potter to that house. Like I've said, I'm the leftovers. They don't understand, and they'd probably just call me a whiny little brat and walk away.

You know... this was a mistake. I shouldn't have said anything, sorry. Just forget I ever did. I'm glad that you care about me enough to be worried about me, but my issues don't concern you. They'll blow over in time, I'm sure... after all James is out of the school at the end of the year, and I won't see him that much anymore then. So... thanks, but no thanks. I'm fine.

Love you,
Lily

[FRED ARTHUR WEASLEY]

Lils,

You won't know anything until you try, Lily. It's easy to say 'things would become worse' as a way to avoid confronting the issue. I can't force you to do anything, but I really wish you will... And don't give me this 'when he leaves it'll be done' excuse, because that just plain sucks. By that you're basically saying that you're fine with losing all connection with your brother just to avoid facing jealousy issues and I'm not going to let that happen. You're family. Even if he did react thinking that you are, in your words, 'a whiny little brat', you guys would get throught it. You're family, after all.

I'm sure if I told James what's going on he'd believe me and confront you about it, but it would be far better if it came from you.

Lotsa family love,
Fred 'The Afro' Weasley

[LILY LUNA POTTER]

Freddie,

I really don't care. I can handle my own life and control it my way, I don't need to be told what to do. Besides, I'm going to have enough going on this year with OWLs. I don't need the stress of a real argument with James to top it all off.

Don't threaten me with that, Fred. I'm a big girl and I can handle my own issues, whether you like it or not. There are no babies in our family anymore, so don't treat me like one. I can make my own decisions, and currently my decision is that it's not worth causing a scene with James. I'll deal with my issues my way, and you can do the same with your own life.

Love you,
Lily

[FRED ARTHUR WEASLEY]

Lils,

All right. Fine. You're right, it's your life. God forbid I wanted to help out to keep my little cousin happy. That's simply terrible, isn't it?

I'll back off Lily, but you know what I think you should do. Sooner rather than later would be preferable, but again, I can't force you. Sorry for bringing it up, but again, if you need someone to talk to I'm here, okay? And I won't bring it up with James, either, unless it gets a lot worse on your end. It's not healthy for you to keep this all bottled up... I just hope it dies down or you let it all out before you do something drastic. Like I said, you'e usually the bubbly happy one with a smile and a joke for anyone. I just hate seeing you so obviously troubled, even if others may not be able to pick up on it.

Lotsa family love,
Fred 'The Afro' Weasley

[LILY LUNA POTTER]

Freddie,

I know, Freddie. Sorry for snapping at you. I'll keep what you said in mind, okay? Maybe next week or something you and I can take a trip down to Hogsmeade, like we did when you snuck me out there in my second year, remember? After all, this is your last year at Hogwarts, we might as well make the best of it, right? Then you can tell me all about some of the things you dad has sold at the shop that I was too young to remember, okay?

Love you,
Lily

[FRED ARTHUR WEASLEY]

Lils,

All is forgiven. Just know that I'm just trying to look out for you, okay?

That sounds awesome! We should make plans for it, but there's not really any reason for us to continue talking over letters anymore... it doesn't matter if someone overhears our plans to get out to Hogsmeade. After all, you're not second year anymore. You're actually allowed to go there now. Meet you in the courtyard in a half hour?

Lotsa family love,
Fred 'The Afro' Weasley

[LILY LUNA POTTER]

Freddie,

Sounds good. I'll see you in a half hour.

Love you,
Lily